I am preparing for my second annual (ugh) writing retreat this fall. You may recall I did this last October as well. I'm blessed by a relative who likes to travel this time of year, and her house is just begging me to come live in it and write for a few days.
I'm looking forward to the simple life of waking up, exercising, writing while the sun is up, and then relaxing a bit when the sun sets before starting the routine over the next day (I still have a few friends in the area, and my sister lives only 7 minutes away). The plan is to have a shitty draft of chapter two done by the end of the week. Chapter 2 has been my Golliath ever since I arrived here at LMU, and I'm determined to win the battle during the week I'm on the retreat: September 24-30.
If I can edit out some of the shittiness of Chapter 1 prior to my departure and share it with DC, then hopefully I'll be on solid ground prior to when I depart. Keep your fingers crossed, if you do that sort of thing.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Wha-happund?
So I had every intention of waking up early today and getting to my campus office by 8AM. I was actually excited to make progress on things, for a change.
At what felt like it was just halfway through the night, I heard Wife say to me, in a sleepy voice, "We need to get up. Natalie's going to be here in a half hour." Natalie is one of Moose's speech therapists.
That's impossible, I think, because she doesn't arrive till 8:30 AM, and surely it can't be...FUCK! It's 8AM! Why am I in bed??
Moose overslept. He's our alarm clock: usually is awake at 6:30 AM each day. I know, I know: I shouldn't rely on him to wake us up on time, I should use an alarm clock. I don't need to hear it, OK? He actually slept in till 8AM, which is unreal.
A comedy of errors ensues while it's raining cats, dogs and squirrels outside. Chester is reluctant to go out for his morning "evacuation." I forget to shave before my shower, so I have to shave in the bathroom mist thus nearly shaving off my goatee. I hadn't yet made a lunch, so I practically knock over the fridge doing that. I must have run up and down the stairs about 87 times this morning because I kept forgetting stuff upstairs. Moose is just chilling out, eating breakfast. Wife is literally moving around in slow motion. Meanwhile, Natalie arrives while Wife's still in her bathrobe and I'm snarfing cereal trying not to get milk all over my cleanly-shaved face (I did save the goatee, by the way). I finally get here to the office at about 9:35. And I've lost my steam to get things done. Nice.
Oh well, life happens. Guess I should quit writing in the blog and get something done today, ya think??
At what felt like it was just halfway through the night, I heard Wife say to me, in a sleepy voice, "We need to get up. Natalie's going to be here in a half hour." Natalie is one of Moose's speech therapists.
That's impossible, I think, because she doesn't arrive till 8:30 AM, and surely it can't be...FUCK! It's 8AM! Why am I in bed??
Moose overslept. He's our alarm clock: usually is awake at 6:30 AM each day. I know, I know: I shouldn't rely on him to wake us up on time, I should use an alarm clock. I don't need to hear it, OK? He actually slept in till 8AM, which is unreal.
A comedy of errors ensues while it's raining cats, dogs and squirrels outside. Chester is reluctant to go out for his morning "evacuation." I forget to shave before my shower, so I have to shave in the bathroom mist thus nearly shaving off my goatee. I hadn't yet made a lunch, so I practically knock over the fridge doing that. I must have run up and down the stairs about 87 times this morning because I kept forgetting stuff upstairs. Moose is just chilling out, eating breakfast. Wife is literally moving around in slow motion. Meanwhile, Natalie arrives while Wife's still in her bathrobe and I'm snarfing cereal trying not to get milk all over my cleanly-shaved face (I did save the goatee, by the way). I finally get here to the office at about 9:35. And I've lost my steam to get things done. Nice.
Oh well, life happens. Guess I should quit writing in the blog and get something done today, ya think??
Monday, September 04, 2006
It's September Out
I find it odd that the weather drastically changed here in SCT with the onset of September. It's almost as if Nature changed her calendar to September and decided to get more temperate. Suddenly it's no longer hot & humid out: instead it's September out. *
[* I use the phrase "It's _____ out" with lots of things, referring to hunger, tiredness, etc. "It's hungry out!" is a common expression heard from my mouth around Noon. "It's tired out," comes around Midnight]
I'm glad to be writing a post for September on my blog so I can close out the month of August and make those individual post titles stop showing up on my archive. I had one positive post last month as related to making academic progress. The rest was, well, the rest. To the past with it!
I have a good friend from College (a medium-sized private research university in the northeast) who works as a high school teacher and therefore has her summers off. She refers to the entire month of August as "just one long Sunday." Teachers spend the month of August preparing, physically and mentally, for the upcoming school year. My friend finds it depressing. She loves her job, but who doesn't love a vacation?
I guess August was a long-ass Sunday for me this year. I dunno - for some reason I'm glad it's over. On the other hand, I realize that I feel way behind from where I wanted to be, and that's just a bit scary too. Oh well.
Random post, but at least it's officially September in my blog world. K, bye.
[* I use the phrase "It's _____ out" with lots of things, referring to hunger, tiredness, etc. "It's hungry out!" is a common expression heard from my mouth around Noon. "It's tired out," comes around Midnight]
I'm glad to be writing a post for September on my blog so I can close out the month of August and make those individual post titles stop showing up on my archive. I had one positive post last month as related to making academic progress. The rest was, well, the rest. To the past with it!
I have a good friend from College (a medium-sized private research university in the northeast) who works as a high school teacher and therefore has her summers off. She refers to the entire month of August as "just one long Sunday." Teachers spend the month of August preparing, physically and mentally, for the upcoming school year. My friend finds it depressing. She loves her job, but who doesn't love a vacation?
I guess August was a long-ass Sunday for me this year. I dunno - for some reason I'm glad it's over. On the other hand, I realize that I feel way behind from where I wanted to be, and that's just a bit scary too. Oh well.
Random post, but at least it's officially September in my blog world. K, bye.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Circle of Support
We're forming a Circle of Support for Moose. I just finished up a meeting on this a few minutes ago, and I need to get my thoughts on this out of my head.
The goal of a CoS is to form a group of friends who will "be there" for our son throughout various aspects of his life. But these are more than just friends. Instead, this will consist of others who are willing to actively participate in fostering his growth and integration into mainstream society.
We realized a while ago that while we attempt to provide a great deal of support and innovation to encourage Moose's development, we know there is always "just a bit more" that can be done. That gets extremely overwhelming, as we start to feel that if we don't provide every last thing we can provide, then we're doing Moose a disservice. Now, we try to keep all of this in perspective and not beat ourselves up about the pressure we feel, but it's tough to keep it all in perspective.
The CoS, I think, is going to fill in a couple of gaps for us. First, there will be many other minds involved with creating ideas to help out with the fostering of Moose's development. Perhaps we'll feel like we're not missing opportunities and such. Second, it's an organized approach to helping us help Moose. We know we're not alone in our interest to support him, but this is yet one more thing we can do in an organized fashion to provide a sense of community for him.
(And for us.)
The first meeting is going to be next month sometime, and the group will consist of his teachers, therapists and friends that we see here in town on a regular basis. I'm sure the group will grow with time and will eventually involve his own friends and classmates. It's pretty exciting to think about all of the future possibilities.
The goal of a CoS is to form a group of friends who will "be there" for our son throughout various aspects of his life. But these are more than just friends. Instead, this will consist of others who are willing to actively participate in fostering his growth and integration into mainstream society.
We realized a while ago that while we attempt to provide a great deal of support and innovation to encourage Moose's development, we know there is always "just a bit more" that can be done. That gets extremely overwhelming, as we start to feel that if we don't provide every last thing we can provide, then we're doing Moose a disservice. Now, we try to keep all of this in perspective and not beat ourselves up about the pressure we feel, but it's tough to keep it all in perspective.
The CoS, I think, is going to fill in a couple of gaps for us. First, there will be many other minds involved with creating ideas to help out with the fostering of Moose's development. Perhaps we'll feel like we're not missing opportunities and such. Second, it's an organized approach to helping us help Moose. We know we're not alone in our interest to support him, but this is yet one more thing we can do in an organized fashion to provide a sense of community for him.
(And for us.)
The first meeting is going to be next month sometime, and the group will consist of his teachers, therapists and friends that we see here in town on a regular basis. I'm sure the group will grow with time and will eventually involve his own friends and classmates. It's pretty exciting to think about all of the future possibilities.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Oh well
Today wasn't quite as productive as yesterday. Stayed up too late last night doing stuff around the house. Overslept this morning and didn't get motivated all that much. Perhaps this evening I'll crank out something at home. I need to get this article finished and out of what little is left of my hair by the end of this weekend.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
At long last
I finally found the focus to forgo all other fuzz and was thus able to freely further my research (couldn't find an 'f' word for research) (that is, since today I'm not associating the word with the f-bomb, as I have in posts past) (why the spontaneous alliteration, I'll never know). Anyhow, I read a valuable article for The Study, and I also have finally developed a viable system for organizing my own notes on various readings that I'll be able to print off when writing the dreaded chapter 2. Big burdens are beginning to lift.
Now it feels like I just need to keep pushing to get this stuff done. Whew! On the suggestion of Pink, I developed a daily journal to track my accomplishments. Kind of a reverse to do list. I like it.
Oops late for work bye.
Now it feels like I just need to keep pushing to get this stuff done. Whew! On the suggestion of Pink, I developed a daily journal to track my accomplishments. Kind of a reverse to do list. I like it.
Oops late for work bye.
Monday, August 28, 2006
A syllabus, perhaps?
Today is the first day of fall term classes here at LMU. Of course, I'm not taking any! I'm registered for "G901 - Advanced Research," which means that I'm in the vast abyss of working on my dissertation. There's very little structure in my student-life now, which doesn't bother me too much. I do realize, however, that I need to create my own structure in order to be productive.
I think I'm going to create a one-page syllabus for this semester. I'm considering seeing if DC would be willing to sign off on it and help me stick to some self-imposed deadlines. I think if I had the external structure and shared it with others, I'd then be able to hold myself accountable.
Part of me thinks this need for external structure is lame. I'm in 23rd grade, for crying out loud, and one would think I'd be able to structure this stuff out without the watchful eyes of a "teacher" hovering nearby. Well, so be it - at least I'm self-aware enough to consider creating the friggin' syllabus in the first place.
I may post the syllabus here, too. We shall see.
I think I'm going to create a one-page syllabus for this semester. I'm considering seeing if DC would be willing to sign off on it and help me stick to some self-imposed deadlines. I think if I had the external structure and shared it with others, I'd then be able to hold myself accountable.
Part of me thinks this need for external structure is lame. I'm in 23rd grade, for crying out loud, and one would think I'd be able to structure this stuff out without the watchful eyes of a "teacher" hovering nearby. Well, so be it - at least I'm self-aware enough to consider creating the friggin' syllabus in the first place.
I may post the syllabus here, too. We shall see.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Becoming Accustomed to Growing Older
I don't think I'm all that old, however I'm certainly no longer "young." Well, that probably depends upon the others with whom I'm hanging out here & there, but I digress.
What I mean is that I can remember events, places I've visited, things I've done from 10-15 years ago as if they were yesterday. Sometimes I find that a bit disturbing, but other times I start to feel "wise," I suppose. I mean, I have a ton yet to learn in life, so don't mistake my self-proclaimed wisdom for arrogance. However, I do feel as though my life experiences have gotten me somewhere and have certainly shaped the person I am today. I dunno.
OK, can you tell I'm writing a paper on student development right now? I guess I'm processing my own identity development along the way.
I also have recently read Beloit College's Mindset List for the class of 2010: this year's typical college freshmen. Take a look: it always makes me feel just a bit old.
What I mean is that I can remember events, places I've visited, things I've done from 10-15 years ago as if they were yesterday. Sometimes I find that a bit disturbing, but other times I start to feel "wise," I suppose. I mean, I have a ton yet to learn in life, so don't mistake my self-proclaimed wisdom for arrogance. However, I do feel as though my life experiences have gotten me somewhere and have certainly shaped the person I am today. I dunno.
OK, can you tell I'm writing a paper on student development right now? I guess I'm processing my own identity development along the way.
I also have recently read Beloit College's Mindset List for the class of 2010: this year's typical college freshmen. Take a look: it always makes me feel just a bit old.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Cafe morning
After a quick doctor visit (my lungs sound "good!"), I went to a Starbucks here in SCT to do a little reading. Just couldn't face the on-campus office today first thing. I'm really glad I did: I cranked on an article I've been meaning to read for a while. It was a study of people writing dissertations and finding their accademic identity (academic ID is the point of The Study and may trickle into the diss as well). Basically, I feel very much as a member of a community of others struggling to find academic identity in this hazy dissertation world. It was a helpful perspective, and it will also lead to another couple of articles to read. Yes, the never-ending web of reading. At least it was productive for a change.
It was really good to get back to a cafe again for a change. I've been boycotting my regular cafe lately because...oh, have I mentioned this?...THE PLACE IS CLOSING. I'm so mad. They're not closing entirely for low revenue, they just want to open another branch of the food co-op in its place (the food co-op owns the cafe). It's one of the better restaurants in town, so it was a sad day earlier in the summer when it was announced.
K, bye. Off to a meeting.
It was really good to get back to a cafe again for a change. I've been boycotting my regular cafe lately because...oh, have I mentioned this?...THE PLACE IS CLOSING. I'm so mad. They're not closing entirely for low revenue, they just want to open another branch of the food co-op in its place (the food co-op owns the cafe). It's one of the better restaurants in town, so it was a sad day earlier in the summer when it was announced.
K, bye. Off to a meeting.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Back to it
I'm finally feeling better. We went to the local farmer's market yesterday morning, and I was still a little bit loopy. It was my first time out of the house in over a week, except for two trips to the doctor. I enjoyed seeing a variety of people, sights, sounds and smells, but afterward I needed a nap. After the nap, though, I felt much better. We even had a few friends over for dinner (Thai food take-out - yum), and much fun was had by all.
Today was church, again my first time in a couple of weeks, and that was good. Had lunch with a friend, and then just had an easy-going afternoon here at Chesterley. I'm needing to clean up the office/prison again so I can have some sanity, but frankly I'm doing more work at my campus office these days for it to really matter. Perhaps it's time to close up the home office/prison and it turn this room into a guest room or library something.
Tomorrow morning the plan is to hit the campus office by about 8:00 AM and spend three hours on The Study for The Article. I think I'm still on hour 3 or 4 of the 8 that DC is allowing me to spend on it before submitting it for rejection, I mean publication. If I can knock that out early this week, then I'll feel that this last week of summer was spent wisely. I can then focus "only" on the diss when classes start up next week.
Perhaps the energy of others starting up their classes will inspire me to get cranking on my work? Perhaps, but I've gotta tell you my perspective has changed. The motivation isn't something so worthwhile anymore; I'm now doing it for the money. Time to buckle down, finish up student life, and move the hell onward.
Today was church, again my first time in a couple of weeks, and that was good. Had lunch with a friend, and then just had an easy-going afternoon here at Chesterley. I'm needing to clean up the office/prison again so I can have some sanity, but frankly I'm doing more work at my campus office these days for it to really matter. Perhaps it's time to close up the home office/prison and it turn this room into a guest room or library something.
Tomorrow morning the plan is to hit the campus office by about 8:00 AM and spend three hours on The Study for The Article. I think I'm still on hour 3 or 4 of the 8 that DC is allowing me to spend on it before submitting it for rejection, I mean publication. If I can knock that out early this week, then I'll feel that this last week of summer was spent wisely. I can then focus "only" on the diss when classes start up next week.
Perhaps the energy of others starting up their classes will inspire me to get cranking on my work? Perhaps, but I've gotta tell you my perspective has changed. The motivation isn't something so worthwhile anymore; I'm now doing it for the money. Time to buckle down, finish up student life, and move the hell onward.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Can't Sleep
Whomever heard of a sick person who couldn't sleep? Well, guess I'm not sick anymore.
I keep thinking about the week I've essentially lost with this illness. I mean, it's not the end of the world, I realize, and what's more important is that I'm better without requiring major amounts of time and hospitalization. There's now one more week left of "summer" before the fall classes at LMU officially begin. I was hoping to be finished with the proposal at this point, so I'm a bit bummed/stressed/annoying that I am not.
I am much further along with things, however, than I was at the beginning of the summer. I guess that counts for something. I hope that I can just focus and buckle down with this. ARGH, I feel like I've been saying that for a year, though, so in some ways I admit I'm beginning to lose hope.
I say that as if this is all beyond my control. To lose hope for something over which I have control doesn't seem to make sense to me. I mean, if I want it, I have the time, I have the idea...why the hell not just do it? What else IS there?
I think part of it is that I need to surround myself by people like Pink, that is, people who can be supportive of others during this selfish time of doctoral student-ness. I miss my long-term friends, I guess, and it's unfortunate that very few of them would really understand all this shit if I were to share it with them, which I haven't. There's a part of me that wonders what life would have been like had I found a career path in business and had just settled in one town. Would I be back in Chicago with a group of long-term strong friendships? Should I just screw all this and go back to Chicago?
Big digression, Rob. Live in the present. Focus on getting through the next month and just write a little bit each day.
The department's fall cookout is coming up on Tuesday. It'll be my fifth one. I only expected to be here four years...perhaps that's contributing to keeping me up tonight as well? Ya think?
Hmm...this brain purge must have worked...am getting very sleepy...
I keep thinking about the week I've essentially lost with this illness. I mean, it's not the end of the world, I realize, and what's more important is that I'm better without requiring major amounts of time and hospitalization. There's now one more week left of "summer" before the fall classes at LMU officially begin. I was hoping to be finished with the proposal at this point, so I'm a bit bummed/stressed/annoying that I am not.
I am much further along with things, however, than I was at the beginning of the summer. I guess that counts for something. I hope that I can just focus and buckle down with this. ARGH, I feel like I've been saying that for a year, though, so in some ways I admit I'm beginning to lose hope.
I say that as if this is all beyond my control. To lose hope for something over which I have control doesn't seem to make sense to me. I mean, if I want it, I have the time, I have the idea...why the hell not just do it? What else IS there?
I think part of it is that I need to surround myself by people like Pink, that is, people who can be supportive of others during this selfish time of doctoral student-ness. I miss my long-term friends, I guess, and it's unfortunate that very few of them would really understand all this shit if I were to share it with them, which I haven't. There's a part of me that wonders what life would have been like had I found a career path in business and had just settled in one town. Would I be back in Chicago with a group of long-term strong friendships? Should I just screw all this and go back to Chicago?
Big digression, Rob. Live in the present. Focus on getting through the next month and just write a little bit each day.
The department's fall cookout is coming up on Tuesday. It'll be my fifth one. I only expected to be here four years...perhaps that's contributing to keeping me up tonight as well? Ya think?
Hmm...this brain purge must have worked...am getting very sleepy...
Friday, August 18, 2006
A new face
Am trying on a new face for a while with a new template. Hey, if I still had hair, I'd try dying it different colors once in a while. Figured this is sorta like that. But, it's not.
Anyhow, this is sorta fun. And, it's nice to not lose any of the personalized stuff I brought over from the old version. That's a nice improvement in the new system.
Someday I'll actually get back to writing about being a doctoral student.
Anyhow, this is sorta fun. And, it's nice to not lose any of the personalized stuff I brought over from the old version. That's a nice improvement in the new system.
Someday I'll actually get back to writing about being a doctoral student.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Quick makeover, I guess
Well, I converted things to the new Blogger Beta because I wanted to use the labels. It went pretty smoothly, but one can't yet edit the html code of the page itself, so I'm unable to customize the florid picture at the top. That's OK for now, but when fall comes I'm going to want something else up there. I may change templates, but I've liked these colors and the layout for a while. Not sure about that just yet.
The labels are going to be fun. If the list on the right gets too long (scroll down a little), then I'll just delete it and just keep going with the individual labels in the posts. I've gone backward in time and labeled the posts from this month only. I don't have THAT much time to spend on this blog! :-) I may label a few key posts from the past hither & yon.
If anyone has thoughts/comments on this stuff, lemme know. I'm declaring myself only at the "advanced intermediate" level (a throw-back to Red-Cross swimming skills levels at summer camp), so am certainly open to advice on this sort of thing.
Heath update: the fine motor skills are working fine, e.g. I can type, click & drag. Obviously. Now, gross-motor is another story. I'm in my office now at home...how long will it take me to walk down the 7 steps to the kitchen to get a refill on water? I'll let you know next week when I return to my home-office desk. Haha.
The labels are going to be fun. If the list on the right gets too long (scroll down a little), then I'll just delete it and just keep going with the individual labels in the posts. I've gone backward in time and labeled the posts from this month only. I don't have THAT much time to spend on this blog! :-) I may label a few key posts from the past hither & yon.
If anyone has thoughts/comments on this stuff, lemme know. I'm declaring myself only at the "advanced intermediate" level (a throw-back to Red-Cross swimming skills levels at summer camp), so am certainly open to advice on this sort of thing.
Heath update: the fine motor skills are working fine, e.g. I can type, click & drag. Obviously. Now, gross-motor is another story. I'm in my office now at home...how long will it take me to walk down the 7 steps to the kitchen to get a refill on water? I'll let you know next week when I return to my home-office desk. Haha.
Renovation in progress
What better task to keep the brain active when sick than to tinker with my blog site? Especially when there is no physical effort involved.
You'll notice that the blog is looking rather "basic" at the moment. Bear with me, I've switched to the new Blogger mode for now. I may revert, but I sorta doubt it. I've been waiting for a handy way to have category labels for each post, and Blogger finally came through. I'll bring back in some of the elements I've lost in the transition as soon as I can. Also, there will probably be a few new things showing up here & there as well.
Description of the sickness: I have pneumonia, just like I wrote about last. Nice fucking way to end the summer. It was diagnosed Monday morning, and the fever FINALLY went away yesterday after five nights. It's been a royal pain in my ass. I now have a good word from the doc that I'm improving, and she gave me a handy, and ENORMOUS, inhaler that will help me pull through just fine. Wife has been her angelic self, which is wonderful. I need to find a way to give her a vacation.
Bring on a change of season into autumn - I'm ready to move onto something new.
You'll notice that the blog is looking rather "basic" at the moment. Bear with me, I've switched to the new Blogger mode for now. I may revert, but I sorta doubt it. I've been waiting for a handy way to have category labels for each post, and Blogger finally came through. I'll bring back in some of the elements I've lost in the transition as soon as I can. Also, there will probably be a few new things showing up here & there as well.
Description of the sickness: I have pneumonia, just like I wrote about last. Nice fucking way to end the summer. It was diagnosed Monday morning, and the fever FINALLY went away yesterday after five nights. It's been a royal pain in my ass. I now have a good word from the doc that I'm improving, and she gave me a handy, and ENORMOUS, inhaler that will help me pull through just fine. Wife has been her angelic self, which is wonderful. I need to find a way to give her a vacation.
Bring on a change of season into autumn - I'm ready to move onto something new.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Sick
I am not one to complain about being sick. In fact, there have been times this past year or so when I've been sick, and I didn't feel a need to share it on this blog.
I don't think I've been as sick as I have these past 48 hours since I had pneumonia during my freshman year in college (um yeah, that would be 1989). I've had a fever since Friday afternoon (around 102) and what feels like a chest cold. Perhaps a recurrence of pneumonia? Sort of doubt it. But it's the type of fever with body aches throughout the torso, making me freezing, and then later I, frankly, start so sweat like a pig. None of this feels so out-of-the-ordinary: I'm reminiscing back to the bout with pneumonia and what seems like countless other childhood illnesses. I have found that I'm not very good about staying in bed for long periods of time. It's driving me nuts. However, Wife has been her usual wonderful self, bringing me things as I need them. I'm on a regimen of acetaminophen and ibuprofen alternating, along with my regular allergy decongestant which I'm convinced has been the ticket to keeping this infection from spreading into my sinuses, which is good. And this is probably way too much information.
I'm very current on the news thanks to the Cable News Network, and I've been watching Digital Video Disks on my Dell Inspiron 600M laptop personal computer, upon which I type this post now. My wireless internet access throughout the halls of Chesterley has helped me keep in touch with the rest of the world, so this is good. I'm missing a couple of fun events today, including a potluck lunch at our church and trip to Large City to the North to get Moose's hairs cut. I'll live though this, but wife is trying not to tell me how nice the weather has been this weekend and how much fun she's had hanging out with a couple of friends yesterday afternoon. I know better, though. I'm missing the first "nice" weekend in months, and this sucks! Also, I had a date with a friend to sit in the campus office all day yesterday and crank out dissertation prose. Another weekend shot to hell.
Am feeling a nap coming on. More later...
I don't think I've been as sick as I have these past 48 hours since I had pneumonia during my freshman year in college (um yeah, that would be 1989). I've had a fever since Friday afternoon (around 102) and what feels like a chest cold. Perhaps a recurrence of pneumonia? Sort of doubt it. But it's the type of fever with body aches throughout the torso, making me freezing, and then later I, frankly, start so sweat like a pig. None of this feels so out-of-the-ordinary: I'm reminiscing back to the bout with pneumonia and what seems like countless other childhood illnesses. I have found that I'm not very good about staying in bed for long periods of time. It's driving me nuts. However, Wife has been her usual wonderful self, bringing me things as I need them. I'm on a regimen of acetaminophen and ibuprofen alternating, along with my regular allergy decongestant which I'm convinced has been the ticket to keeping this infection from spreading into my sinuses, which is good. And this is probably way too much information.
I'm very current on the news thanks to the Cable News Network, and I've been watching Digital Video Disks on my Dell Inspiron 600M laptop personal computer, upon which I type this post now. My wireless internet access throughout the halls of Chesterley has helped me keep in touch with the rest of the world, so this is good. I'm missing a couple of fun events today, including a potluck lunch at our church and trip to Large City to the North to get Moose's hairs cut. I'll live though this, but wife is trying not to tell me how nice the weather has been this weekend and how much fun she's had hanging out with a couple of friends yesterday afternoon. I know better, though. I'm missing the first "nice" weekend in months, and this sucks! Also, I had a date with a friend to sit in the campus office all day yesterday and crank out dissertation prose. Another weekend shot to hell.
Am feeling a nap coming on. More later...
Monday, August 07, 2006
Mini Me
Mini Me
Originally uploaded by chesterley.
Thought this was a cute picture from yesterday morning. Moose has been making a ton of good connections lately, and he's really beginning to follow directions well. Last night when I brought him upstairs for his bath, I gave him directions of each task to do in turn, and he did them all (e.g. take off your shirt, take off your pants, hand me your pants, walk into the bathroom please). I really couldn't believe it! We've had him in a couple of intensive language programs this summer, and we also enrolled him in a really fun summer camp at our local Young Men's Christian Association (I hate acronyms). He's made a lot of progress this summer, and it's been cool to watch!
I can't believe he starts school again a week from Wednesday. Where has summer gone?
Thursday, August 03, 2006
busted week
This week has been sort of a bust, in terms of dealing with The Study and The Dissertation. It's been a busy week at work, and of course the time that I usually work on The Study and The Diss is in my office before I start my work hours. The work plan was busted this week as I pitched in to make things work. No, I didn't bother trying to get the work done after hours. I'm through with staying up all night.
So, I won't be done with The Study this week as I had planned. However, I do have tomorrow morning and perhaps part of the afternoon to work on it. Gotta make up the time somewhere, right?
The good news is that the busy time at work has passed, and we finished a major project about four hours ahead of time. Hoodathunkit?
In other news, I can't believe it's August. Moose starts school two weeks from today (WHAT?), and he'll go to a new preschool this fall. We're excited about it: it has a Montesorri philosophy which is therefore highly structured and should help toward a transition into kindergarten for the following year. Who knows where in the world we'll be a year from now, though??
That's about it. Back to work with me.
So, I won't be done with The Study this week as I had planned. However, I do have tomorrow morning and perhaps part of the afternoon to work on it. Gotta make up the time somewhere, right?
The good news is that the busy time at work has passed, and we finished a major project about four hours ahead of time. Hoodathunkit?
In other news, I can't believe it's August. Moose starts school two weeks from today (WHAT?), and he'll go to a new preschool this fall. We're excited about it: it has a Montesorri philosophy which is therefore highly structured and should help toward a transition into kindergarten for the following year. Who knows where in the world we'll be a year from now, though??
That's about it. Back to work with me.
Monday, July 31, 2006
8 more hours and that's it
OK, I can't really believe that tomorrow is the day we flip all of the calendars over to August. August?? Buh bye summer.
Had a good meeting with DC last week. It lasted about two hours, with the first 30 minutes or so just catching up from our summer adventures and such. And then the rest was all business, which was good. I like having an advisor who doesn't make me prove myself to her. Actually, I may have proved myself to her when I took a class from her in 2005, not sure. Anyhow, now it's very much a mentoring relationship more so than one where I have to prove my worth, and I appreciate this. We have confidence in each other, and she expects I'm going to be able to keep up. Big expectations, but if it wasn't for those, I probably would lose interest, honestly!
So, we agreed I need to spend no more than 8 hours working on finishing up the study from last year. It will help with the diss and I (we?) may even get a publication out of it. That would be nice. This means that by the end of the week, it's all about the dissertation and no more extraneous study hanging over my head. I hope.
Was a good weekend just gone by: Moose & Wife were away visitng relatives and I got a much-needed "vacation." I miss them, but I admit once in a while it's good to have the place to myself. I look forward to their homecoming tomorrow, though. Over the weekend,I did some reading for The Study (only a couple of the 8 appointed hours), and I also got a few things done around the house ("weed-b-goned" the front lawn, etc.). Had dinner & drinks with friends on Saturday night. Sang a big choral work in church on Sunday to celebrate the departure of our choir director. I do enjoy singing in the choir again.
Lots of my colleagues here at LMU are in qualifying exams this week and next. Good luck guys! Just pull them on through the chute and get 'em done.
Off to complete Hour #3...
Had a good meeting with DC last week. It lasted about two hours, with the first 30 minutes or so just catching up from our summer adventures and such. And then the rest was all business, which was good. I like having an advisor who doesn't make me prove myself to her. Actually, I may have proved myself to her when I took a class from her in 2005, not sure. Anyhow, now it's very much a mentoring relationship more so than one where I have to prove my worth, and I appreciate this. We have confidence in each other, and she expects I'm going to be able to keep up. Big expectations, but if it wasn't for those, I probably would lose interest, honestly!
So, we agreed I need to spend no more than 8 hours working on finishing up the study from last year. It will help with the diss and I (we?) may even get a publication out of it. That would be nice. This means that by the end of the week, it's all about the dissertation and no more extraneous study hanging over my head. I hope.
Was a good weekend just gone by: Moose & Wife were away visitng relatives and I got a much-needed "vacation." I miss them, but I admit once in a while it's good to have the place to myself. I look forward to their homecoming tomorrow, though. Over the weekend,I did some reading for The Study (only a couple of the 8 appointed hours), and I also got a few things done around the house ("weed-b-goned" the front lawn, etc.). Had dinner & drinks with friends on Saturday night. Sang a big choral work in church on Sunday to celebrate the departure of our choir director. I do enjoy singing in the choir again.
Lots of my colleagues here at LMU are in qualifying exams this week and next. Good luck guys! Just pull them on through the chute and get 'em done.
Off to complete Hour #3...
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Too many strands...
I'm editing my first chapter now. It's not very good, but that matters not since no one but I is reading it at the moment. This first draft is decent, I guess. Good general ideas, but the concepts don't hold together really well. I'm essentially critiquing it as if I weren't the author, asking myself questions in the margins like, "What does this mean?" or "Think about moving this paragraph earlier." Too many loose strands of concepts right now, and not enough of them are tying together just yet.
Bottom line: I still feel like I have a ton of reading to do before I really master these concepts. And that sorta scares me, because I'm concerned about keeping all of this literature organized. I'm also concerned about completing the proposal anytime soon.
The good thing is that I'm meeting with DC later this week. I'm not 100% certain if I'm going to be able to communicate these dissertation ideas very clearly to her, and that's a bit scary. I don't want to look like a complete idiot.
This is going to sound weird, but part of me thinks I should take this dissertation process less seriously. I find I get fearful when I need to edit things I've written, and that's ridiculous. I'm allowing the fear (the origin of which is unknown to me) keep me from focusing, so I find ways to procrastinate. Not very productive...I'm essentially allowing myself to not focus very much on something I find important. It's backward: I'm spending time on things that are NOT important when I should be working on the dissertation.
It's time to change and tie together these loose strands. I declare that I will not "care" about this dissertation! It's no longer important to me! From here on out, my form of procrastination will be to work on my dissertation and forego the things that are really important.
Would that attitude actually induce productive procrastination?
Bottom line: I still feel like I have a ton of reading to do before I really master these concepts. And that sorta scares me, because I'm concerned about keeping all of this literature organized. I'm also concerned about completing the proposal anytime soon.
The good thing is that I'm meeting with DC later this week. I'm not 100% certain if I'm going to be able to communicate these dissertation ideas very clearly to her, and that's a bit scary. I don't want to look like a complete idiot.
This is going to sound weird, but part of me thinks I should take this dissertation process less seriously. I find I get fearful when I need to edit things I've written, and that's ridiculous. I'm allowing the fear (the origin of which is unknown to me) keep me from focusing, so I find ways to procrastinate. Not very productive...I'm essentially allowing myself to not focus very much on something I find important. It's backward: I'm spending time on things that are NOT important when I should be working on the dissertation.
It's time to change and tie together these loose strands. I declare that I will not "care" about this dissertation! It's no longer important to me! From here on out, my form of procrastination will be to work on my dissertation and forego the things that are really important.
Would that attitude actually induce productive procrastination?
Thursday, July 20, 2006
I don't feel like it today
I'm feeling a push to get some work done today on the dissertation, but it's more of an external push than an internal one. External forces on me are telling me to get cracking on this, and yet I really don't give a rat's ass about it today.
Part of me feels like I have this great idea for the dissertation, one I've been working on quite a while. But the "work" hasn't been active work, it's been in my head. And my head as been buried in books, though a little half-heartedly I'll admit. My head as also been buried in recent family shit too (extended family, not Moose & Wife) , and that's taken a higher priority. And I suppose my priorities are in line. But when is the dissertation going to take on a higher priority? Not sure about that one. I mean, one may think it's good I'm not letting it take over my family life. But then again, I'm not getting it done, either, so what good is that?
At this point, I know I'm being too abstract with my conceptualization of the dissertation idea. I just need to narrow, focus, and get the study done. While I have a chapter 1 draft, it sucks so much that I won't let anyone else read it. Well, that's not very productive, is it?! So the goal now is to at least get some feedback on the fucker, even if it rips my heart and brain to shreds in the process. Feedback should help with the forward motion of the process. It's been a while since I've had any feedback, but then again I haven't produced much substance in order to obtain feedback.
Onward, then. I'm torn: do I indeed complete chapter 1 before I feel like I've done enough reading, or do I read some more too so I know what the hell I'm talking about? I think I'm going to keep reading and get a shitty draft of chapter 2 done. Then I can go back and tweak chapter 1. We shall see. Am not feeling very optimistic about all this today.
Off to the library...
Part of me feels like I have this great idea for the dissertation, one I've been working on quite a while. But the "work" hasn't been active work, it's been in my head. And my head as been buried in books, though a little half-heartedly I'll admit. My head as also been buried in recent family shit too (extended family, not Moose & Wife) , and that's taken a higher priority. And I suppose my priorities are in line. But when is the dissertation going to take on a higher priority? Not sure about that one. I mean, one may think it's good I'm not letting it take over my family life. But then again, I'm not getting it done, either, so what good is that?
At this point, I know I'm being too abstract with my conceptualization of the dissertation idea. I just need to narrow, focus, and get the study done. While I have a chapter 1 draft, it sucks so much that I won't let anyone else read it. Well, that's not very productive, is it?! So the goal now is to at least get some feedback on the fucker, even if it rips my heart and brain to shreds in the process. Feedback should help with the forward motion of the process. It's been a while since I've had any feedback, but then again I haven't produced much substance in order to obtain feedback.
Onward, then. I'm torn: do I indeed complete chapter 1 before I feel like I've done enough reading, or do I read some more too so I know what the hell I'm talking about? I think I'm going to keep reading and get a shitty draft of chapter 2 done. Then I can go back and tweak chapter 1. We shall see. Am not feeling very optimistic about all this today.
Off to the library...
Monday, July 17, 2006
What's your personality type?
Whever I take any version of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I try to vary my answers a bit depending upon my mood or recent experiences. Never seems to have an effect on the outcome. This is me, no doubt about it.
| You Are An ENFJ |
| The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist. |
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Document Analysis
Four of my closest relatives and I had a difficult, yet important, experience together last weekend. We cleaned out the family home of our GoGA (Grandmother of Great Age), who you may recall died last March at age 98. Just a year ago Wife, Moose, and I visited her home for a week-long visit and had a good time. Dealing with her end has been a long and drawn-out process, mostly due to the physical distance among my cousins and between our homes and hers.
You may have heard the cliché, “she kept everything.” Well, this is no cliché with our grandmother: she truly kept everything. Not only did we four grandchildren uncover just about every letter we had ever written to her during our lives, but we found everything from our great-grandmother’s Shabbat notebook from 1897 to auto registrations from the 1940s and plans for parties my grandparents held in the 1960s. I learned many things through this experience. For example, the format of tax returns have not changed very much since 1937. And, did you know that if you wanted timely delivery on a letter, one needed to indicate “via air mail” on an envelope traveling from New York to Chicago as recent as the late 1960s?
Document analysis is a qualitative data-collection technique that researchers use when wanting to learn more about a certain entity. I’ve used this data collection form in the past when assessing the effectiveness of a program or when learning more about the history of a college. I realized early on that we were performing a large document analysis on the long life of my grandmother. This was a gift, in some ways, though I admit I wasn’t really very pleased with my grandmother for essentially forcing us to take a week off and go through her files, some of which were ridden with long-gone mouse nests and years of mold (Cape Cod is rather humid, so mold accumulation is a regular experience) (ew). The gift part of this experience comes into play when considering that we essentially were able to relive parts of her life through the last century, and there were many of these moments we did not realize existed.
I cannot and will not outline all of her life experiences here in this blog. Suffice it to say, however, that any major life event I was aware of in her life were documented somewhere in her house. For example, whenever she started a story about a place where she lived, she would give us the street address; we found unused personalized stationery from every residence where she had ever lived. She would describe the cars she drove across the country to go to her summer home; we found the bill of sale for when she purchased these cars. Through these documents we saw her life at its height when she was an activist for human rights in Chicago (the mayor would ask her to lunch on a regular basis to discuss these issues). We watched her life age when her handwriting became illegible and her filing system moved from organized files toward a series of piled papers along her desk and bedroom floor.
Soon after her death, I wrote that I thought it was odd I was missing, of all things, her house. Now I think I understand this a bit better. Her house was a symbol of family gatherings, both good and difficult. We’ll never be able to replace this symbol once we sell the place. Five generations of my family have enjoyed this house, all people related to GoGA in some way. Her mother would join her during summers in the late ‘50s and early ‘60s. My grandparents of course spent countless months enjoying the home and the beaches across the road. My parents, and aunt & uncle, would visit with my cousins and/or me and my sister in tow. Other extended family members would see us all gathered there both in the summer and winter months for informal family reunions. And more recently I, my sister, and one of my cousins would bring our own children to visit their great-grandmother. Selling a home that’s been in the family for about 50 years is a grueling process. Going through the files and other personal items is strange and tiring. But the emotional aspect of losing family history in a physical place is unfathomable for me at times. It’s amazing to think my grandmother lived in this house for only half of her life…50 years seems like a long time to live in one place. Perhaps I will get used to the fact that another family will stake claim to the sand dune we referred to as “Gram’s house” for so many years.
I have mixed feelings, though about the sale of her house. I admit there’s a large part of me that’s glad to see the place go, as I had some very difficult times there that I’d rather not remember. But another part of me will always wonder how many more years I and my relatives would have carried on the tradition of these family gatherings. Sort of seems like a waste to sell the place after all these years.
Someday I may take some of the documents I saved and write a book about my grandmother’s life. It may make for an interesting story.
You may have heard the cliché, “she kept everything.” Well, this is no cliché with our grandmother: she truly kept everything. Not only did we four grandchildren uncover just about every letter we had ever written to her during our lives, but we found everything from our great-grandmother’s Shabbat notebook from 1897 to auto registrations from the 1940s and plans for parties my grandparents held in the 1960s. I learned many things through this experience. For example, the format of tax returns have not changed very much since 1937. And, did you know that if you wanted timely delivery on a letter, one needed to indicate “via air mail” on an envelope traveling from New York to Chicago as recent as the late 1960s?
Document analysis is a qualitative data-collection technique that researchers use when wanting to learn more about a certain entity. I’ve used this data collection form in the past when assessing the effectiveness of a program or when learning more about the history of a college. I realized early on that we were performing a large document analysis on the long life of my grandmother. This was a gift, in some ways, though I admit I wasn’t really very pleased with my grandmother for essentially forcing us to take a week off and go through her files, some of which were ridden with long-gone mouse nests and years of mold (Cape Cod is rather humid, so mold accumulation is a regular experience) (ew). The gift part of this experience comes into play when considering that we essentially were able to relive parts of her life through the last century, and there were many of these moments we did not realize existed.
I cannot and will not outline all of her life experiences here in this blog. Suffice it to say, however, that any major life event I was aware of in her life were documented somewhere in her house. For example, whenever she started a story about a place where she lived, she would give us the street address; we found unused personalized stationery from every residence where she had ever lived. She would describe the cars she drove across the country to go to her summer home; we found the bill of sale for when she purchased these cars. Through these documents we saw her life at its height when she was an activist for human rights in Chicago (the mayor would ask her to lunch on a regular basis to discuss these issues). We watched her life age when her handwriting became illegible and her filing system moved from organized files toward a series of piled papers along her desk and bedroom floor.
Soon after her death, I wrote that I thought it was odd I was missing, of all things, her house. Now I think I understand this a bit better. Her house was a symbol of family gatherings, both good and difficult. We’ll never be able to replace this symbol once we sell the place. Five generations of my family have enjoyed this house, all people related to GoGA in some way. Her mother would join her during summers in the late ‘50s and early ‘60s. My grandparents of course spent countless months enjoying the home and the beaches across the road. My parents, and aunt & uncle, would visit with my cousins and/or me and my sister in tow. Other extended family members would see us all gathered there both in the summer and winter months for informal family reunions. And more recently I, my sister, and one of my cousins would bring our own children to visit their great-grandmother. Selling a home that’s been in the family for about 50 years is a grueling process. Going through the files and other personal items is strange and tiring. But the emotional aspect of losing family history in a physical place is unfathomable for me at times. It’s amazing to think my grandmother lived in this house for only half of her life…50 years seems like a long time to live in one place. Perhaps I will get used to the fact that another family will stake claim to the sand dune we referred to as “Gram’s house” for so many years.
I have mixed feelings, though about the sale of her house. I admit there’s a large part of me that’s glad to see the place go, as I had some very difficult times there that I’d rather not remember. But another part of me will always wonder how many more years I and my relatives would have carried on the tradition of these family gatherings. Sort of seems like a waste to sell the place after all these years.
Someday I may take some of the documents I saved and write a book about my grandmother’s life. It may make for an interesting story.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Earlee
Well, here's day 1 of trying the new schedule. I was up at 5:30, out the door just before 7, and here I am at my desk on campus, ready to work after a stop at the post office and preliminary work e-mail check. Wait. What am I doing again? Oh yeah, this dissertation proposal...that's it!
Long hiatus in posting here, I know, mostly because I've been traveling just about every weekend this summer. Finally, I think I'm all done with that. When I have more time I'm going to post more about an interesting family experience from last weekend.
Time to crack the books. But I need some coffee first. zzzzzzzzz
Long hiatus in posting here, I know, mostly because I've been traveling just about every weekend this summer. Finally, I think I'm all done with that. When I have more time I'm going to post more about an interesting family experience from last weekend.
Time to crack the books. But I need some coffee first. zzzzzzzzz
Monday, July 03, 2006
Fireworks are Everywhere
Ever since my state passed a new law which actually PERMITS morons to blast off fireworks till 11:00 PM each night, including the ones that go off the ground, into the air, and onto my trees and roof, people in my neighborhood are louder than ever. Normally, it's a quiet place that few SCTers have ever seen (it's built behind several old farms that are no longer functioning as such, but one cannot see this from the main road...just looks like a series of old farms with a couple of little roads in between). But around this time of year, the fireworks "season" begins. Not just around Independence Day, but the sounds keep going till September. I don't think I'm exaggerating very much.
Tonight I think I'm hearing popping sounds on three sides of my house. Last year I actually called the police on one neighbor who was allowing his 10-year-old to set off huge-ass fireworks that went up above their two-story house and onto my tree line, which was completely dried out by a lack of rain. It was 10:30 PM, and I was told by the police that any fireworks up in the air like that were illegal. Made sense to me: pretty dangerous. And especially for a 10-year-old...HELLO?? And it's 10:30PM. Send your kid to bed!
So this year, that would be legal? If you smell smoke and see flames, send the firetrucks to my house.
Now don't get me wrong: I like to have a good time just like anyone else. But we live about two blocks from an absolutely enormous open field surrounding a school (another former farm). Why the hell not go out there and do this instead of our thickly-settled neighborhood?
Wow, I just realized I posted on this very topic about a year ago. I guess some things never change. At least I've had no altercations with my neighbor since I called the sherrif last year (knock on wood!).
ADDENDUM (7/4/2006):
And with what does Wife surprise me this evening? Our own stash of fireworks!!! They're the kind that just make a lot of smoke and spin around on the ground. Oh, the humanity!
But boy oh boy was that fun! Yeah, just feeling a little hypocritical right about now...
Tonight I think I'm hearing popping sounds on three sides of my house. Last year I actually called the police on one neighbor who was allowing his 10-year-old to set off huge-ass fireworks that went up above their two-story house and onto my tree line, which was completely dried out by a lack of rain. It was 10:30 PM, and I was told by the police that any fireworks up in the air like that were illegal. Made sense to me: pretty dangerous. And especially for a 10-year-old...HELLO?? And it's 10:30PM. Send your kid to bed!
So this year, that would be legal? If you smell smoke and see flames, send the firetrucks to my house.
Now don't get me wrong: I like to have a good time just like anyone else. But we live about two blocks from an absolutely enormous open field surrounding a school (another former farm). Why the hell not go out there and do this instead of our thickly-settled neighborhood?
Wow, I just realized I posted on this very topic about a year ago. I guess some things never change. At least I've had no altercations with my neighbor since I called the sherrif last year (knock on wood!).
ADDENDUM (7/4/2006):
And with what does Wife surprise me this evening? Our own stash of fireworks!!! They're the kind that just make a lot of smoke and spin around on the ground. Oh, the humanity!
But boy oh boy was that fun! Yeah, just feeling a little hypocritical right about now...
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Conditioning
I've had yet another busy weekend: the 3rd of 4. Wife's family has been in town, and we've been "camping" at a nearby state park. I used quotes around "camping" because we (Wife, Moose, Wife's Parents, and I) actually rented a cabin on the grounds of said state park, while Wife's sister and partner were in their trailer at the campground itself. It was fun, though I was running back & forth between the state park and town late last week since I still needed to work. No complaints: I'll take a "real" job over a vacation at this point in my life. As a result of the running around and fresh air, my ass is tired. Last night I went to bed at 9:30, sound asleep. Woke up at 6:30 AM today. NINE hours of sleep? Hardly ever happens.
However, the early bedtime is good conditioning for the schedule I'm going to try & start keeping starting tomorrow. It involves getting up before the crack of dawn (good idea from my colleague John) to attempt to get my dissertation work done. I'll work my "real job" hours from about 10 AM - 5PM or so (start at 11 AM if I have no lunch hour plans). So, if I can get to my campus office (did I mention I have my own office now?) by 7 or 8 at the latest, then I'll have a few hours each morning to get something done during my peak brain power time. Guess I'm a morning person at heart. I hope to use Saturday mornings in the same way, so I still have plenty of family time Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday. We'll see how this goes, but I fiugre a few hours each day is better than no hours.
I enjoy getting lots done in the morning. Today I've already exercised (I know, Rob EXERCISED?), shaved/bathed, paid a couple of bills, had breakfast with Wife, Moose, and Wife's Parents, and now I'm actually finding time to write this blog. Still about an hour before we leave for church...mabe I'll tidy up Home Office for while? This afternoon I'm going to Campus Office to put up pictures and such. I have a window at said office, so I'm looking forward to getting that set up. Perhaps I'll eventually move the home office/prison to campus?
However, the early bedtime is good conditioning for the schedule I'm going to try & start keeping starting tomorrow. It involves getting up before the crack of dawn (good idea from my colleague John) to attempt to get my dissertation work done. I'll work my "real job" hours from about 10 AM - 5PM or so (start at 11 AM if I have no lunch hour plans). So, if I can get to my campus office (did I mention I have my own office now?) by 7 or 8 at the latest, then I'll have a few hours each morning to get something done during my peak brain power time. Guess I'm a morning person at heart. I hope to use Saturday mornings in the same way, so I still have plenty of family time Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday. We'll see how this goes, but I fiugre a few hours each day is better than no hours.
I enjoy getting lots done in the morning. Today I've already exercised (I know, Rob EXERCISED?), shaved/bathed, paid a couple of bills, had breakfast with Wife, Moose, and Wife's Parents, and now I'm actually finding time to write this blog. Still about an hour before we leave for church...mabe I'll tidy up Home Office for while? This afternoon I'm going to Campus Office to put up pictures and such. I have a window at said office, so I'm looking forward to getting that set up. Perhaps I'll eventually move the home office/prison to campus?
Sunday, June 25, 2006
No posts in a long while
Where has the end of June gone? I don't know. lemme think...
First, I'm transitioning into this new job that is supposed to start on July 1, but since four new staff members also start around that time, I have plenty of work to do in both the old and the new posts right now, and I've been this way for a couple of weeks.
Second, I went to this conference in Phoenix. Very cool - have never been to the Southwest before, so it was a bit like going to Mars, in terms of the terrain. Interesting spot, though.
And finally, family stuff. We've been very busy finding Moose good things to do this summer and help him grow. We have him in summer day camp here & there, and he's working extensively with two people (separately) both of whom are getting trained to engage autistic kids in purposive activities. Brilliant! We even have him in these 15-minute long piano lessons. Hell, I don't know if they're doing any good at all, but one of his preschool teachers does music on the side and offered to teach him for free. Why not?
My in-laws come in for a week this Wednesday, and then I turn around and head off to Cape Cod to clean out my grandmother's home along with my sister and cousins. Cousin Dave, all I can say is I'm glad the hotel rooms have fridges, the perfect size for a couple of six-packs...
Busy summer. Dissertation? Oh yeah, THAT. Well, I have been reading a great deal, but actually writing some of this shit down might convince DC that I'm planning on writing this book sometime in the next year. Yeah, better get on that sometime soon.
In addition to not posting here much, I also haven't been reading anyone else's blogs lately. Gotta get back to that too...
First, I'm transitioning into this new job that is supposed to start on July 1, but since four new staff members also start around that time, I have plenty of work to do in both the old and the new posts right now, and I've been this way for a couple of weeks.
Second, I went to this conference in Phoenix. Very cool - have never been to the Southwest before, so it was a bit like going to Mars, in terms of the terrain. Interesting spot, though.
And finally, family stuff. We've been very busy finding Moose good things to do this summer and help him grow. We have him in summer day camp here & there, and he's working extensively with two people (separately) both of whom are getting trained to engage autistic kids in purposive activities. Brilliant! We even have him in these 15-minute long piano lessons. Hell, I don't know if they're doing any good at all, but one of his preschool teachers does music on the side and offered to teach him for free. Why not?
My in-laws come in for a week this Wednesday, and then I turn around and head off to Cape Cod to clean out my grandmother's home along with my sister and cousins. Cousin Dave, all I can say is I'm glad the hotel rooms have fridges, the perfect size for a couple of six-packs...
Busy summer. Dissertation? Oh yeah, THAT. Well, I have been reading a great deal, but actually writing some of this shit down might convince DC that I'm planning on writing this book sometime in the next year. Yeah, better get on that sometime soon.
In addition to not posting here much, I also haven't been reading anyone else's blogs lately. Gotta get back to that too...
Guess what WE did today?
Yep, we rode Thomas the Tank Engine. A good time was had by all. Check out the pictures!
Monday, June 12, 2006
More alone when reading than writing
I've always enjoyed a good read, ever since I was a little kid. But when the reading involves topics that I'm learning about or things for which I need to demonstrate my understanding, I find the process of reading to be extremely lonely. I don't care for that very much. Learning is a social process at times, but I do need to spend the time alone, I suppose.
It's funny though: when writing I feel more "in charge," so to speak, and I don't mind spending the time alone because I'm more productive. I've been reading much of the morning today, and right now I have a bunch of ideas flying through my head that I'd like to bounce off of someone. However it's a day where "no one" is around (kind of funny saying "no one" or even the word "lonely" being that I'm sitting at a booth in the middle of the cafe). I suppose it's part of being in the wilderness when doing the initial review of the literature. Perhaps when I gain a better understanding of how I'll discuss the literature I'm reading, then I'll be better able to enjoy the company of someone else? I dunno. I would love to get through this part and finally get into conducting the study. Oh yeah: I don't quite know how I'm going to construct the actual study just yet...guess I need to spend some more time alone and figure out these "minor" details!
Ho hum. At least they have one of my favorite coffees available today. Gotta go get some more.
It's funny though: when writing I feel more "in charge," so to speak, and I don't mind spending the time alone because I'm more productive. I've been reading much of the morning today, and right now I have a bunch of ideas flying through my head that I'd like to bounce off of someone. However it's a day where "no one" is around (kind of funny saying "no one" or even the word "lonely" being that I'm sitting at a booth in the middle of the cafe). I suppose it's part of being in the wilderness when doing the initial review of the literature. Perhaps when I gain a better understanding of how I'll discuss the literature I'm reading, then I'll be better able to enjoy the company of someone else? I dunno. I would love to get through this part and finally get into conducting the study. Oh yeah: I don't quite know how I'm going to construct the actual study just yet...guess I need to spend some more time alone and figure out these "minor" details!
Ho hum. At least they have one of my favorite coffees available today. Gotta go get some more.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Saturday thoughts on the deck
It's Saturday late morning on the deck at Chesterley. And it's 65 degrees in early June? How'd that happen? Very odd. A buddy of mine is getting married today here in town...hope the rain holds off, pal!
I'm nearing the end of reading much of the large literature review I mentioned in my last post. This is good: when I started I was at a loss for how I was actually going to organize my thoughts on the literature, and now things are starting to gel. Slowly.
It's funny: I keep forgetting that I wrote a draft of a dissertation proposal just over a year ago for a proposal-writing course that I was required to take. I honestly haven't read it in months. WHY?? Guess I need to print off a copy sometime soon and take a look. There probably isn't much in there of substance for the lit review portion I'm working on now, but I really should see if my thoughts from a year ago are similar or different to where things are now. I never thought the process would take this long, but I guess when one allows life to happen, the consequence is a longer time to dissertation completion.
I'm getting excited to start my new job, even though the thought of having less dissertation time is a bit stressful. Somehow I think it will all even out, and the office itself is very supportive of seeing me through to the completion of the book. I keep reminding myself how fortunate I am to have a part-time job that pays enough to live on and allows me a little flex time hither & yon.
OK, off to (hopefully) finish another chapter in this book before my friend's wedding festivities start this afternoon.
I'm nearing the end of reading much of the large literature review I mentioned in my last post. This is good: when I started I was at a loss for how I was actually going to organize my thoughts on the literature, and now things are starting to gel. Slowly.
It's funny: I keep forgetting that I wrote a draft of a dissertation proposal just over a year ago for a proposal-writing course that I was required to take. I honestly haven't read it in months. WHY?? Guess I need to print off a copy sometime soon and take a look. There probably isn't much in there of substance for the lit review portion I'm working on now, but I really should see if my thoughts from a year ago are similar or different to where things are now. I never thought the process would take this long, but I guess when one allows life to happen, the consequence is a longer time to dissertation completion.
I'm getting excited to start my new job, even though the thought of having less dissertation time is a bit stressful. Somehow I think it will all even out, and the office itself is very supportive of seeing me through to the completion of the book. I keep reminding myself how fortunate I am to have a part-time job that pays enough to live on and allows me a little flex time hither & yon.
OK, off to (hopefully) finish another chapter in this book before my friend's wedding festivities start this afternoon.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
A System and a Job
I haven't posted in a while. Busy time around here lately, but good-busy as opposed to sucky-busy. I like good-busy. Sucky-busy...bad.
First, I think I've finally developed a decent system for reading and processing articles for The Dreaded Chapter 2. "Processing" is a means for remembering all the stuff I've read! Basically now I'm reading a large literature review that's famous and wonderful in higher education circles. From this I'm slowly gaining another list of articles/books I should be reading. Fortunately, many of the things on the list are that which I have already read for coursework, which means the entire act of coursework itself was meaningful. This is good. So I read, I compile a literature list in a database which holds notes, quotes, etc., and I produce another list of things I need to retrieve either from the library, a friend's bookshelf, or the bookstore, which, when read, will be included in said database. A system. And I like systems.
Second, I haven't mentioned here that I'm starting a different job on July 1. It's a promotion of sorts, though fortunately it's not a full-time job so I can continue to work on the dissertation. It's in the department where I've attempted to be a Good Little Graduate Assistant, and apparently the work has paid off. I'll have some supervision responsibilities and will be paid just enough to no longer need student loans. Yippee! It's 30 hours per week instead of 20, so I'm pushing this month to get much of The Dreaded Chapter 2 finished before my hours increase July 1. Then, I'll "only" have Chapter 3 hanging over my head, which should be do-able during some evenings and weekends, and on the one day off from work during the week which will be devoted only to writing (at least that's my plan). Most important: the job is in the field where I eventually want to work "when I grow up," so it's relevant career-related experience in addition to being a viable income source. Whew.
The transition into the new job is going well so far, though it's causing me to be scheduled into numerous meetings: a huge change from the last couple of years. I'm working hard to only work my 20 hours per week this month, because the paper MUST get done. Still, it's good to feel like I'm "working" again, and I hope that feeling continues after July 1. I don't think I'd feel good about the job transition if I didn't also feel good about the dissertation reading process. I'm glad a few things are falling together nicely right now.
First, I think I've finally developed a decent system for reading and processing articles for The Dreaded Chapter 2. "Processing" is a means for remembering all the stuff I've read! Basically now I'm reading a large literature review that's famous and wonderful in higher education circles. From this I'm slowly gaining another list of articles/books I should be reading. Fortunately, many of the things on the list are that which I have already read for coursework, which means the entire act of coursework itself was meaningful. This is good. So I read, I compile a literature list in a database which holds notes, quotes, etc., and I produce another list of things I need to retrieve either from the library, a friend's bookshelf, or the bookstore, which, when read, will be included in said database. A system. And I like systems.
Second, I haven't mentioned here that I'm starting a different job on July 1. It's a promotion of sorts, though fortunately it's not a full-time job so I can continue to work on the dissertation. It's in the department where I've attempted to be a Good Little Graduate Assistant, and apparently the work has paid off. I'll have some supervision responsibilities and will be paid just enough to no longer need student loans. Yippee! It's 30 hours per week instead of 20, so I'm pushing this month to get much of The Dreaded Chapter 2 finished before my hours increase July 1. Then, I'll "only" have Chapter 3 hanging over my head, which should be do-able during some evenings and weekends, and on the one day off from work during the week which will be devoted only to writing (at least that's my plan). Most important: the job is in the field where I eventually want to work "when I grow up," so it's relevant career-related experience in addition to being a viable income source. Whew.
The transition into the new job is going well so far, though it's causing me to be scheduled into numerous meetings: a huge change from the last couple of years. I'm working hard to only work my 20 hours per week this month, because the paper MUST get done. Still, it's good to feel like I'm "working" again, and I hope that feeling continues after July 1. I don't think I'd feel good about the job transition if I didn't also feel good about the dissertation reading process. I'm glad a few things are falling together nicely right now.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Baby Bunnies!
Baby Bunnies!
Originally uploaded by chesterley.
Imagine my surprise when yesterday morning I was watering our front garden only to find four baby bunnies running away from the cold water! I had seen Momma Bunny in the garden a week or two ago, but I figured she was looking for food: I did not suspect she had built a home there! Very cute to see the bunnies running around. For a while I was concerned I had desecrated their home by mistake, but later on we saw them running around again.
Wait a minute: We just finished planting the vegetable garden yesterday. Ugh! Lucky bunnies! How ironic.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Weekend Warriors
Just one more post on the house for the weekend, before this turns into a house blog instead of a doctoral student blog.
As a younger adult, whenever I would hear of people doing all they could with their home improvement projects, I used to cringe. I would ask myself, "Why can't people balance their lives better so they don't save all of these projects for a weekend and then have to rush around doing all this work?"
And now here we are, the little weekend warriors. Heaps of self-disgust! Well no, not really. It's hard to believe I've fallen into that routine, though. Seems so "typical." Anyhow...
This patch of ground, above, was at one point part of a dog run area for the prior owner of Chesterley. There is a whole bunch of river rock here, but over the years weeds have grown in as the rock settled into the dirt. The several inches of rock makes it nearly impossible to dig in and plant anything. However, it happens to be the one private, flat portion of our yard that has sun most of the day long. Thus, the one perfect spot for a vegetable garden in our yard has been blocked by the rock.
We found a way to conquer the rock by building a raised bed. Wife has ALWAYS wanted her own vegetable garden, and now after almost four years of home ownership her dream is coming true! See the four "DIY" pictures in my Flickr site, if you're interested in seeing more. I'll more pictures add to it as we get the veggies planted during the next few days.
Oh yeah, did I mention I'm writing my dissertation, too?
Summery Yard
We've done a ton of work on the yard this summer, and I've posted several pictures under the "yard" tag in Flickr. I really think the key to a healthy marriage is to do yard work together. We love it. It's a nice balance of independent and group work, and it's fun to see the results of your work. After buying this house (our first), we quickly learned the yard work we do this year will look better next year. Right now it feels like we're seeing the results of the last few year's worth of work coming to fruition, so that's pretty darn exciting.
Wife planted Cosmos out front this year. Before this spring I had not met a Cosmos. I like them so much, I used this pic of them for this post. By the way, those frogs took up residence in our front garden in 2002, soon after we moved into Chesterley.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
The Demise of Cargo
I am not one to read many magazines. Heck I have enough trouble reading the literature I need to for my dissertation, but that's an entirely different story.
My aunt and uncle gave me a subscription to GQ when I graduated from college. I liked it, but I have never made oodles of money such that I could ever think of affording the clothes and such advertised there. Also, I just don't spend a lot of time on clothing or grooming. I mean, I certainly like to bathe and shave and look decent, but if I'm not wearing designer clothing, I really could care less. As long as it fits and the things were purchased this decade, I'll go with it. Many of the articles in GQ are interesting, so I kept my subscription going for several years. When I came to SCT, I scaled back on several expenditures, one of which was that subscription.
Of course I'm still on their mailing list, and I receive ads for other magazines published by the same group. A new one came out about a year ago that was inexpensive and peaked my interest: Cargo Magazine. Good mixture of "men's magazine stuff" like electronic gadgets, clothing (with inexpensive options!), fitness, and sex. And some of the models look like real people instead of like "models," if you can believe it! And really: the emphasis was on the electronics and not the fashion, which I liked a great deal.
Unfortunately, I received a postcard last week saying they will discontinue publishing Cargo. And to compensate for the rest of my subscription, I'll get copies of GQ instead. Ugh! I guess I'll just take it in and have a clearer picture of the high-fashion stuff I cannot afford. Inspiration to complete the doctorate? Perhaps, but it's not like I'm going to walk into a six-figure job when I complete this degree anyhow. Ho hum.
Long live Cargo!
My aunt and uncle gave me a subscription to GQ when I graduated from college. I liked it, but I have never made oodles of money such that I could ever think of affording the clothes and such advertised there. Also, I just don't spend a lot of time on clothing or grooming. I mean, I certainly like to bathe and shave and look decent, but if I'm not wearing designer clothing, I really could care less. As long as it fits and the things were purchased this decade, I'll go with it. Many of the articles in GQ are interesting, so I kept my subscription going for several years. When I came to SCT, I scaled back on several expenditures, one of which was that subscription.
Of course I'm still on their mailing list, and I receive ads for other magazines published by the same group. A new one came out about a year ago that was inexpensive and peaked my interest: Cargo Magazine. Good mixture of "men's magazine stuff" like electronic gadgets, clothing (with inexpensive options!), fitness, and sex. And some of the models look like real people instead of like "models," if you can believe it! And really: the emphasis was on the electronics and not the fashion, which I liked a great deal.
Unfortunately, I received a postcard last week saying they will discontinue publishing Cargo. And to compensate for the rest of my subscription, I'll get copies of GQ instead. Ugh! I guess I'll just take it in and have a clearer picture of the high-fashion stuff I cannot afford. Inspiration to complete the doctorate? Perhaps, but it's not like I'm going to walk into a six-figure job when I complete this degree anyhow. Ho hum.
Long live Cargo!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Chapter 1
I finished the draft of Chapter 1 early. As I stated Sunday, my goal was to have it done later this week. I actually finished it yesterday. I can't really believe it, so I didn't jump onto Blogland to post all about it for a while. But it's true: it went much more quickly than I thought.
Don't get me wrong: this isn't very good. DC will never see this version, and I still have a long way to go. But the important thing is that the initial concepts are out of my head. Now I can focus on refreshing my readings and getting chapter 2 planned. Chapter 2 will take a while. Hoo boy...here goes.
Don't get me wrong: this isn't very good. DC will never see this version, and I still have a long way to go. But the important thing is that the initial concepts are out of my head. Now I can focus on refreshing my readings and getting chapter 2 planned. Chapter 2 will take a while. Hoo boy...here goes.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
A poem
Mom said, "oh no," through a stifled laugh.
The son had found Dad's leftover birthday cake
That which he had not consumed was
ground into the white shirt he wore
to church that morning.
Son looked dazed,
though happy.
Dad said: "hey, save some for me."
And then Son bounced himself off the walls.
The son had found Dad's leftover birthday cake
That which he had not consumed was
ground into the white shirt he wore
to church that morning.
Son looked dazed,
though happy.
Dad said: "hey, save some for me."
And then Son bounced himself off the walls.
Time flies like a pad of butter on a hot frying pan
Has it been a week since my last post? Time flies, though I have no idea why the anology of butter & frying pans just came to mind, but it did so I wrote it.
Here I sit on the back deck of Chesterley, "vigorously" writing my dissertation. Ha, I wish. At least I'm here. Tomorrow is Writing Day, so I endeavor to get much more accomplished. I did write seven more pages last week, so it was a productive time. If all goes as planned this week, then I'll finish a shitty draft of the first chapter this Thursday or earlier, and I'll have a chance to revise the shittiness out of it next weekend before sharing it with Pink or another colleague after the Memorial Day holiday. I think DC is out of contact for a while, as is the norm during the summer. I can live with that. After the holiday, it's onward into the dreaded Chapter 2: the literature review. Oy.
I marked the 35th anniversary of my life this past week. It was the first birthday where I felt like I'm not "young" anymore. At least I have my health and most of my brain cells in tact, so this is good. My mom was here much of the week, so between the family & friend support I made it through the b-day experience just fine. A decent supply of alcohol and chocolate helped as well.
There is a big-ass bee (BAB) flying around out here. Hey, can't you see the flower boxes over there? Get away from me. Geez, big enough it's creating a shadow when it flies. Stop blocking out the sun you blasted bee...
Digression over, kind of like this post.
Here I sit on the back deck of Chesterley, "vigorously" writing my dissertation. Ha, I wish. At least I'm here. Tomorrow is Writing Day, so I endeavor to get much more accomplished. I did write seven more pages last week, so it was a productive time. If all goes as planned this week, then I'll finish a shitty draft of the first chapter this Thursday or earlier, and I'll have a chance to revise the shittiness out of it next weekend before sharing it with Pink or another colleague after the Memorial Day holiday. I think DC is out of contact for a while, as is the norm during the summer. I can live with that. After the holiday, it's onward into the dreaded Chapter 2: the literature review. Oy.
I marked the 35th anniversary of my life this past week. It was the first birthday where I felt like I'm not "young" anymore. At least I have my health and most of my brain cells in tact, so this is good. My mom was here much of the week, so between the family & friend support I made it through the b-day experience just fine. A decent supply of alcohol and chocolate helped as well.
There is a big-ass bee (BAB) flying around out here. Hey, can't you see the flower boxes over there? Get away from me. Geez, big enough it's creating a shadow when it flies. Stop blocking out the sun you blasted bee...
Digression over, kind of like this post.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Weekend Getaway
The weekend getaway with just the two of us was quite nice. Had time just to "be" and only worry about ourselves. Took in a museum, ate a couple of great meals, and had a good ole time. I highly recommend this type of getaway to anyone with kids. Even if you only travel ten miles from home - a 24-hour trip away from your kid(s) once in a while is well worth-it! We've only done this one other time since Moose was born.
We watched the very last West Wing tonight. I recall when that show came on six years ago and we were living in the Southeast. We watched it religiously, as did many of our friends. Our lives were SO very different then. We both were working full-time, Moose hadn't remotely been conceived yet, and Chester was just a year old. We were both getting settled in our careers, and we had a good life. I miss that sometimes, not that I would turn back time or anything, but boy was it fun. I don't know why watching the TV show reminded me of that time. I guess it's the memory of our lives when that show was starting, combined with the weekend getaway. It's good to remember what it's like to be a couple and not have the constant worry of having a child with special needs.
Perhaps there's a constant feeling of worry when you have typically-developing kids? I don't know. What I do know is that we're exhausted quite often, and sometimes it's hard to watch Moose attempt to navigate the world. Most times, however, we continue to be amazed at all he CAN do in spite of his inability to communicate coherently. Through it all, he still remains a genuinely NICE, humorous kid. Sometimes I wish I had his patience when I was that young.
Random post, I know, but my mind is just flowing tonight, for some reason. Preparing to turn 35 this week, perhaps? Probably.
We watched the very last West Wing tonight. I recall when that show came on six years ago and we were living in the Southeast. We watched it religiously, as did many of our friends. Our lives were SO very different then. We both were working full-time, Moose hadn't remotely been conceived yet, and Chester was just a year old. We were both getting settled in our careers, and we had a good life. I miss that sometimes, not that I would turn back time or anything, but boy was it fun. I don't know why watching the TV show reminded me of that time. I guess it's the memory of our lives when that show was starting, combined with the weekend getaway. It's good to remember what it's like to be a couple and not have the constant worry of having a child with special needs.
Perhaps there's a constant feeling of worry when you have typically-developing kids? I don't know. What I do know is that we're exhausted quite often, and sometimes it's hard to watch Moose attempt to navigate the world. Most times, however, we continue to be amazed at all he CAN do in spite of his inability to communicate coherently. Through it all, he still remains a genuinely NICE, humorous kid. Sometimes I wish I had his patience when I was that young.
Random post, I know, but my mind is just flowing tonight, for some reason. Preparing to turn 35 this week, perhaps? Probably.
Azaleas, etc.
I took this picture about 10 days ago. Couldn't believe the flowers that came up this spring. You'd never realize it's mid-May, though. As I type this, it's 49 degrees at 11:00 PM. Ugh. I am so ready for outdoor life to be the norm instead of a pleasant unexpected treat. I may put a few more of these pics on my Flickr site. There was nothing in this front garden except for an old wooden park bench that was literally rotting away, so we're pleased with what we've been able to add here.In other house news, we finally had the kitchen ceiling repaired after a roof leak came, went, and got fixed. Ah. It's nice to not look at a peeling ceiling anymore.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Page One
It's been a good couple of days. Monday I completed the outline of my first chapter, which was a triumphant feeling in itself.
On Tuesday, I wrote the first page of my dissertation! Woohoo!
And then this morning, I stared at Page 1. Ugh!
Well, I made a couple of edits hither & yon, and I found another source or two. Um...yeah. Oh well. I'm still on schedule for getting this chapter done this month, and that's all that matters right now. Right? Somebody agree, please! :-)
Today was our 9th wedding anniversary. My inlaws are in town now, so they watched Moose tonight while Wife and I went to Nice Italian Restaurant for dinner and then walked around Large Chain Bookstore/Cafe for about two hours, which is something we can NEVER do with Moose in tow. Had a very nice time. Even stopped at said cafe before coming home. This weekend we're going out of town, just the two of us, overnight while the inlaws spend an entire 24-hour period with Moose. Can't wait, though I'm not quite sure what we'll do while we're gone.
hee hee.
On Tuesday, I wrote the first page of my dissertation! Woohoo!
And then this morning, I stared at Page 1. Ugh!
Well, I made a couple of edits hither & yon, and I found another source or two. Um...yeah. Oh well. I'm still on schedule for getting this chapter done this month, and that's all that matters right now. Right? Somebody agree, please! :-)
Today was our 9th wedding anniversary. My inlaws are in town now, so they watched Moose tonight while Wife and I went to Nice Italian Restaurant for dinner and then walked around Large Chain Bookstore/Cafe for about two hours, which is something we can NEVER do with Moose in tow. Had a very nice time. Even stopped at said cafe before coming home. This weekend we're going out of town, just the two of us, overnight while the inlaws spend an entire 24-hour period with Moose. Can't wait, though I'm not quite sure what we'll do while we're gone.
hee hee.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Commencement
Yesterday was graduation day in SCT. We had the fortunate situation to be invited to five different parties. I don't think that's ever happened to us before. We were able to get to four of them: three graduation gatherings and a Derby party. Much fun was had by all, and Moose did remarkably well though we were gone for about seven hours (poor Chester had to stay home, but he had a good run/romp across the vast rear lawn after our arrival home in the evening).
I also received the final grade from my "Multivariate Statistics in Educational Research" course. I'm not one to brag about or even discuss my grades very much, but I'm very pleased with the outcome. I'm also pleased with the fact that from here on out, my "grades" are just going to be "S" for Satisfactory. Better than the other option of F. Ironic how we get to the final stages of the doctorate and there are no more letter grades.
For over 7,000 graduates here at LMU, graduation marks the "commencement" of other things like moving to new life stages, starting new jobs, starting graduate school programs, etc. For me, this time of year marks the fact that "I'm next." I plan to be among next year's graduates. That's pretty cool, and it's high time. I may not be entirely finished with the dissertation this time next year, but the goal is to be close enough to participate in the graduation festivities and defend the paper in August of 2007.
Already I've changed my work schedule so I have Mondays off from Good Little Graduate Assistantship duties to focus on my own work. This is good: Sundays aren't nearly as stressful that way. In fact, life in general appears to have become more simple as a result of commencement. It's just me, my computer (may it work flawlessly at least for the next 18 months), and my books & articles to get this work done. Time to get to work.
I also received the final grade from my "Multivariate Statistics in Educational Research" course. I'm not one to brag about or even discuss my grades very much, but I'm very pleased with the outcome. I'm also pleased with the fact that from here on out, my "grades" are just going to be "S" for Satisfactory. Better than the other option of F. Ironic how we get to the final stages of the doctorate and there are no more letter grades.
For over 7,000 graduates here at LMU, graduation marks the "commencement" of other things like moving to new life stages, starting new jobs, starting graduate school programs, etc. For me, this time of year marks the fact that "I'm next." I plan to be among next year's graduates. That's pretty cool, and it's high time. I may not be entirely finished with the dissertation this time next year, but the goal is to be close enough to participate in the graduation festivities and defend the paper in August of 2007.
Already I've changed my work schedule so I have Mondays off from Good Little Graduate Assistantship duties to focus on my own work. This is good: Sundays aren't nearly as stressful that way. In fact, life in general appears to have become more simple as a result of commencement. It's just me, my computer (may it work flawlessly at least for the next 18 months), and my books & articles to get this work done. Time to get to work.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Neighborhood Noise
It's actually quite pleasant around the vast grounds of Chesterley this morning (um, right...I can count about five houses from where I sit, but anyhow...). I sit outside on the back deck, and I'm going to get a few more points done on the intro outline. It's rather peaceful. Chester sits here at my feet and we listen to the birds and occasional dog barking. Oh wait, Chester is barking now to...Chester, no. Thanks buddy. Anyhow, aside from regular neighborhood noise here, life is pretty good. I could get used to getting work done out here.
Onward, then.
Onward, then.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Monthly Goals and Smaller Chunks
Alright people, this is it. I'm completely finished with any other acacdemic task now, other than writing this dissertation. Not that I've been intentionally wasting time or anything, but I now have absolutely no excuses or other invening reasons to not get some major work accomplished on this beast during the next few months.
I'm experiencing a feeling of relief, in that life has become a bit more simple. No more classes, no more tests or papers, and no more incompletes or other lingering projects. Heck, I've even let go of one of my side jobs that earned a small bit of cash. All of these things were being put on a higher priority than the dissertation because they were more urgent. No longer are these things factors, and this is good.
If I want to start collecting data this fall, and thus have any hope of walking at graduation in a year, then I absolutely must defend the proposal (1st 3 chapters) no later than mid-September of this year. My goal for the summer is to have at least a decent draft. A decent draft can still SUCK, but at least it's a draft! Edits don't take me all that long to complete, and the work doesn't need to be perfect to pass the proposal defense. It just needs to be done.
So I've revised my schedule so that I do a chapter a month for the next three months. That is:
Deep breath. Hoo boy. Here we go. In the past half hour I've completed a few lines of the outline of my introduction, so we're getting somewhere.
I'm experiencing a feeling of relief, in that life has become a bit more simple. No more classes, no more tests or papers, and no more incompletes or other lingering projects. Heck, I've even let go of one of my side jobs that earned a small bit of cash. All of these things were being put on a higher priority than the dissertation because they were more urgent. No longer are these things factors, and this is good.
If I want to start collecting data this fall, and thus have any hope of walking at graduation in a year, then I absolutely must defend the proposal (1st 3 chapters) no later than mid-September of this year. My goal for the summer is to have at least a decent draft. A decent draft can still SUCK, but at least it's a draft! Edits don't take me all that long to complete, and the work doesn't need to be perfect to pass the proposal defense. It just needs to be done.
So I've revised my schedule so that I do a chapter a month for the next three months. That is:
- Introduction by the end of May
- Literature review by the end of June
- Methodology by the end of July
Deep breath. Hoo boy. Here we go. In the past half hour I've completed a few lines of the outline of my introduction, so we're getting somewhere.
Monday, May 01, 2006
I actually finished something EARLY!
I'm a bit stunned. I just submitted my proposal for Presigious Research Conference online, and the deadline isn't till 11:59 PM tonight. I'm right on schedule: am now heading home from the Cafe to hang out with Wife and Moose for a bit. Then, Wife goes off to be social while I hang out with Moose till his bedtime.
After his bedtime, I will hunker down and complete my take-home exam for "multivariate statistics in educational research." Am just about finished. Just a few more things left to tweak, and it's not even due till Noon tomorrow!
If all goes according to plan, then the only thing I'll have on my plate for tomorrow morning before turnning into a Good Little Graduate Assistant in the afternoon is (gulp) to work on my dissertation. Yeah, that's all.
That's ALL? Zoinks.
After his bedtime, I will hunker down and complete my take-home exam for "multivariate statistics in educational research." Am just about finished. Just a few more things left to tweak, and it's not even due till Noon tomorrow!
If all goes according to plan, then the only thing I'll have on my plate for tomorrow morning before turnning into a Good Little Graduate Assistant in the afternoon is (gulp) to work on my dissertation. Yeah, that's all.
That's ALL? Zoinks.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Week's End Report
I CRANKED this week. Finally! Got the Beast Paper finished and shared with DC. I await feedback from her before submitting it to Prestigious Journal. Well, OK...I await her feedback, and I also need to finish the paper's conclusion! It just sort of trails off at the end at this point, but that's OK. It needed to get it the hell away from me for a week or so!
Yesterday I made a draft of my stats final exam (take-home), which is due Tuesday at Noon. I hope to finish up that puppy tomorrow during the day, if possible. On Monday, a proposal to Prestigious Research Conference is due, and I'm going to submit Beast Paper to that group. Why not? The more feedback I can get at this point, the better. Besides, it all informs the dissertation process.
I guess I was able to kick "it" up a notch this week, as I had hoped last Sunday. And I must admit, I'm feeling rather scholarly lately. It's kind of fun. Let's hope I can keep up this energy for the next month or so.
Yesterday I made a draft of my stats final exam (take-home), which is due Tuesday at Noon. I hope to finish up that puppy tomorrow during the day, if possible. On Monday, a proposal to Prestigious Research Conference is due, and I'm going to submit Beast Paper to that group. Why not? The more feedback I can get at this point, the better. Besides, it all informs the dissertation process.
I guess I was able to kick "it" up a notch this week, as I had hoped last Sunday. And I must admit, I'm feeling rather scholarly lately. It's kind of fun. Let's hope I can keep up this energy for the next month or so.
Music Ringing in my Ears
Thanks to Hugh for posting on pandora.com ! LOVE it, and it's probably going to help place a soundtrack along side of my dissertation proposal-writing time this summer. Check it out when you have a chance (it's FREE).
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Working day
Here I sit on the vast south veranda of the Chesterley manse. Yep, I'm on the wooden back deck underneath my new porch umbrella we got at K-Mart. But it's quite nice & peaceful, for the most part. Before 10 AM, a neighbor who moved in yesterday started up with a chain saw on a couple of branches in their back yard. I almost went over to them and said, "Can you please live here quietly for a week before disturbing the rest of us? Thanks." But I resisted temptation. Guess I'm so careful not to disturb my neighbors, that I think others should behave the same way. Perhaps I should just stop thinking so much about that stuff?
Anyhow, I'm here on the back deck, connected wirelessly in terms of power and internet. Finally got a new laptop battery that works for more than 10 minutes, so this is good. I'm plowing through the aforementioned edits (see Friday's post) and it's going OK. Moose and Wife are on their way home from In-Laws' house, so I'm trying to get things done before their arrival, when I'll want to play with them.
We've head a few tragic deaths recently in SCT. I hate it when college students die. They're not old enough yet. Hell, I'm not old enough yet either, but I have at least 10-15 years on most of the people who died. Very sad.
In other news, I'm trying to kick "it" up a notch for my work between now and the end of the summer. Not quite sure how to describe "it" right now, but I do have a few more thoughts on the writing process that I'm working on putting into words here sometime soon.
Anyhow, I'm here on the back deck, connected wirelessly in terms of power and internet. Finally got a new laptop battery that works for more than 10 minutes, so this is good. I'm plowing through the aforementioned edits (see Friday's post) and it's going OK. Moose and Wife are on their way home from In-Laws' house, so I'm trying to get things done before their arrival, when I'll want to play with them.
We've head a few tragic deaths recently in SCT. I hate it when college students die. They're not old enough yet. Hell, I'm not old enough yet either, but I have at least 10-15 years on most of the people who died. Very sad.
In other news, I'm trying to kick "it" up a notch for my work between now and the end of the summer. Not quite sure how to describe "it" right now, but I do have a few more thoughts on the writing process that I'm working on putting into words here sometime soon.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Been a while
Lots going on lately, mostly surrounding typical end-of-semester events and such. Also, the home-life has been scheduled to the hilt. While I enjoy this enormously, it's not all that conducive to a timely completion of work. Oh well: better to lose a little sleep than to not enjoy hanging out with the family and friends.
Speaking of the family, Wife and Moose are visiting "gramamama and grampa" (Moose's words) this weekend, so Chester and I are home alone together for now. Today he's at doggie daycare while I'm away at work, meetings, and a couple of other things here & there. Am looking forward to a relatively quiet Saturday, I must admit. I plan on cleaning the home office/prison (boy it needs it) and then plowing through an edit on this @#$% pilot study paper. I considered just putting it aside for a while, but it's going to drive me nuts if I don't at least get it into a finished form and send it to Prestigious Journal for consideration. It will most likely get rejected, and then I can use the feedback to improve it more and try again (probably at Not-as-Prestigious Journal). OK by me, just lemme move on from this! Pink has offered to take a look at it next week, so there's the motivation I need.
Pink and I have started our weekly meetings once again. She's finishing up her first chapter, which is great. We both are trying to have proposals done by the end of the summer. It will be easier for her since she has a 10-month appointment with the summers off. Not the same for this 12-month boy, but oh well. Hopefully I'll get something done on the thing on a regular basis and be able to feel like I'm making some progress.
Another colleage is defending her dissertation as I type this post. Hard to believe! Am going to go over there and help her celebrate a little later on. Hard to believe people I started with are now finishing up. I feel a little bit behind, but of course I'm happy for my friends.
Speaking of the family, Wife and Moose are visiting "gramamama and grampa" (Moose's words) this weekend, so Chester and I are home alone together for now. Today he's at doggie daycare while I'm away at work, meetings, and a couple of other things here & there. Am looking forward to a relatively quiet Saturday, I must admit. I plan on cleaning the home office/prison (boy it needs it) and then plowing through an edit on this @#$% pilot study paper. I considered just putting it aside for a while, but it's going to drive me nuts if I don't at least get it into a finished form and send it to Prestigious Journal for consideration. It will most likely get rejected, and then I can use the feedback to improve it more and try again (probably at Not-as-Prestigious Journal). OK by me, just lemme move on from this! Pink has offered to take a look at it next week, so there's the motivation I need.
Pink and I have started our weekly meetings once again. She's finishing up her first chapter, which is great. We both are trying to have proposals done by the end of the summer. It will be easier for her since she has a 10-month appointment with the summers off. Not the same for this 12-month boy, but oh well. Hopefully I'll get something done on the thing on a regular basis and be able to feel like I'm making some progress.
Another colleage is defending her dissertation as I type this post. Hard to believe! Am going to go over there and help her celebrate a little later on. Hard to believe people I started with are now finishing up. I feel a little bit behind, but of course I'm happy for my friends.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Third Floor
The farm house around the corner that I referred to in this post already has the frame of a brand new third floor with a completed roof on top. It's good to see. I find it remarkable how quickly this type of renovation work can be accomplished when the weather turns for the better and there are very few other major instances of wind damage around the neighborhood. It's a big contrast to the time it's taking B.Rox to renovate his New Orleans home. Everything takes forever there due to a very different new urban infrastructure which appears to be turning into almost a completely different sort of culture. We should not take for granted the fast rate at which things can be patched up here when it's all they can do in New Orleans to repair their land line phone system, for example.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Finally back on track
I hope I didn't just jinx myself by typing that.I am back at the cafe as per my "normal" "schedule" (both terms said with the inflection of Austin Powers's Dr. Evil when he referred to his original invention, the "Laser").
This has been anything but a normal semester, though, so a little normalcy is nice...for a CHANGE. Wait, perhaps it ain't normal, then? I don't think I can wrap my brain around that very well.
Anyhow, I worked my assistantship hours this morning like the good little efficient graduate assistant that I am. Since lunch, I've plugged through the beginning of a stats assignment due in about 10 days, and now I'm prepping for a class I'm probably going to end up teaching tomorrow night (DC is attending a conference) in an area outside of my expertise. I'm mildly concerned about this, but I'm going to plug through. I feel like I've not been able to find my good "teaching legs" this semester. I guess I'm grotesquely out of practice. This makes me laugh: I'm a doc student who feels he's out of practice teaching from when he was a full-time administrator? Strange, but true. I did much more teaching when working full-time than I do now. Now I spend much of my work-time alone. Just another thing to reassure me that the doc student experience usually ends up being the entire opposite of what one might expect. Bettter just go with it, I suppose.
The cafe is way too quiet today. Perhaps people are buckling down on final projects and papers, and they wanted to focus elsewhere? More likely, the weather's too damn nice to study (finally above 60 degrees and sunny today), so I bet many others are out throwing around a Frisbee or something.
Speaking of spring, I mowed Chesterley's vast (ha!) acreage (ha!) yesterday, and I set up our deck furniture from its winter storage spot. I even got up those damn oak leaves that fell in the winter (nice) and I fertilized the front lawn (the back never needs it: lots of trees). Nice to see the table umbrella out there again. I can't wait to be able to hang out there for long periods at a time. In reflection, I was pretty darn productive on the home front last weekend, in spite of Wife being sick and my caring for Moose much of the time solo.
Alright, must stop procrastinating from prepping for this class and get it done.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Automatic Lights
I did a little home improvement task I've been wanting to do here at Chesterley for a couple of years: I installed a timer on our outside lights. One of the things I like about this neighborhood is that it's far enough out of town that it's genuinely dark. Plenty of starry nights here. There are no street lights on the winding lane leading to Chesterley's front gate (OK, winding lane my ass: it's a two-block long straight-as-an-arrow street in a suburban neighborhood). Approaching the house at night is really dark and a bit scary dark at times. I like to have things lit up out front; I just feel safer. Call me a city boy, that's OK by me. But there are many nights when I forget to turn those lights on, and the times we're out before dark and come home after dark, it would be nice to come back to a house with lights. So, there it is. All done, thanks to a little coaching from my brother-in-law who works as an electrical engineer. I managed to complete the project without frying off my body hair and burning down the stately old walls of Chesterley. Remarkable! There are a couple of pictures to prove it under the "diy" tag on my flickr site.
And while home improvements are nice, nothing academic happened today. Life happens, academics do not. Wife was sick this morning, so I was unexpectedly on Moose duty for most of the day. Not that I mind this.
There's always tomorrow for academics, assuming life can stop for a while.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Eye Hab a Code
Eye hate habig a code. By dose is all stubbed, ad I ca't breade! It's dot fair! Today id stats class, I sdeezed ad it bade a really high-pitched soud. By buddy ad I had a good laugh.
Sprig codes are the worst! I should buy stock id tissues, but that would require havig $.
*SNIFF*
Sprig codes are the worst! I should buy stock id tissues, but that would require havig $.
*SNIFF*
Monday, April 03, 2006
Rest in Peace
The weekend wasn't so bad, in terms of how funerals tend to go. It was good to reconnect with my cousins, sister, and others in the family. Most important we spent a little time remembering our grandmother and the good family times we had. There was a little bit of Family Crap, too (Cousin Dave will understand), as all families have on some level. Most of it was expected and not very difficult to handle, so it's all part of the family experience, I suppose.
Anyhow, it's good to be home, and it's good to have a roof (see the previous post)!
Anyhow, it's good to be home, and it's good to have a roof (see the previous post)!
That was a little too close for comfort
We were still in Chicago last night after my grandmother's funeral earlier in the day. It was probably a good thing that we weren't home here in SCT. Anyone approaching Chesterley from the south has seen this farmhouse out at the main road, and it was severely damaged in what appeared to be a tornado last night. The paper called it not a tornado, but "straight line winds." Not sure exactly what that means, but this looked like tornado damage to me & Wife. This was a three-story house, dating back to the Civil War (picture was published in SCT's local paper). We walk Chester and Moose by this place all the time - it's only about 3 blocks from us. Fortunately the current owners/residents were not hurt.Chesterley is just fine, though the power had been out about 24 hours prior to our homecoming. It came back on around 8:30 PM. No complaints here: our place is still standing, and the efficient folks at yonder power company appeared to have done a great job restoring things.
Whew.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Statistics Test
I have a take-home exam in multivariate statistics this weekend. Yay!
Whatever.
I know I'm taking this class "for fun," but there ain't much fun about a test administered over a weekend. Oh well. I suppose I dug myself into this hole when I signed up for the class. The professor said it will only take two or three hours to complete. So if I crank on it now, then perhaps I'll be done by lunch? Yeah, done with about 50% of it. Everything always takes longer in a Ph.D. program.
At least the spring snow is finally melting.
Whatever.
I know I'm taking this class "for fun," but there ain't much fun about a test administered over a weekend. Oh well. I suppose I dug myself into this hole when I signed up for the class. The professor said it will only take two or three hours to complete. So if I crank on it now, then perhaps I'll be done by lunch? Yeah, done with about 50% of it. Everything always takes longer in a Ph.D. program.
At least the spring snow is finally melting.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
I'm Missing People & Places
Gram's Greenhouse
Originally uploaded by chesterley.
My apologies for the multiple edits on this post to those of you using blog aggregators. I've had trouble with posting pictures from Flickr this week...
My mind has been wandering a lot this week. Mourning the loss of my 98-year-old grandmother I expected to die is odd: On the one hand, I'm happy for the prospect that she's moved onto a better place without the aches and pains of a century-old body. On the other hand I do miss her, stubbornness and all.
One strange thing is that the mourning process for my grandmother also brings me to miss, of all things, her house. It's an International Style ranch house in the woods that has always sparked my interest in architecture. I really love it up there, and we would spend time there in the summer when I was a kid. Whenever I'd speak to my grandmother on the phone, she'd provide all the updates like, "the weather is doing this," or, "the deer came to visit the bird bath today," or even, "the storm blew over 5 trees, but thankfully none hit the house." I miss those updates on one of my favorite places in the world. I sit here in the Midwest wondering what's happening up at the house right now. I find it sad that the house is empty. I can hear the wind blowing through the trees, the chirping birds, an occasional car out at the road, and even a distant heavy wave hitting the beach down the road. It's odd that my grandmother isn't there to see and hear it all, and to report on the goings-on.
Funny how years of connection with an individual is leaving me attached to the place where that individual lived. Not sure yet what that means, but I'm finding it rather odd.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Spring?
It snowed at least three inches in Small College Town yesterday. Here is the vast, winding pathway to the front gates of Chesterley, showing our daffodils covered in snow. I posted just a couple of other pictures under the "spring?" tag in my Flickr site (to the right). Yes, I actually had to shovel the driveway yesterday morning: March 21. Oy. I miss living in the Southeast.I'm having trouble finding academic focus this week, but I find comfort in the fact that I can still be productive at my job (which doesn't require the highest level of brain power all the time...just some of the time). Perhaps it's because I essentially lost my spring break to being with my grandmother. I could use a vacation! Perhaps my lack of "thought" is just part of the mourning process. Not sure. Sometimes I feel like it's strange to mourn the death of a 98-year-old, since her death was expected and anticipated for some time. However, I know it's never "strange" to mourn someone I will miss, so deep down I know this is natural and I will regain my ability to think once again sometime soon. Looks like the funeral will be in a couple of weeks, so it will be good to have that closure.
One more thing: light a couple of candles for Lemming this week as she finishes her dissertation!
Sunday, March 19, 2006
On Death
My 98-year-old grandmother died this morning. I feel fortunate that I was available to be with her all of last week. A week ago Friday my mother and I hurried across the country to be with her, as we were told her end was iminent. I think my grandmother surprised herself more than the rest of us by living an additional week. We moved her from the hospital to a beautiful hospice house last Wednesday afternoon. I traveled home this past Friday after we knew she was settled there. She died this morning. She led a long and very full life.
It's not a surprise to anyone that she waited for the family to leave before she died. She moved to her summer place in the woods years ago, away from a lifetime of friends and relatives, to live out the rest of her life in a peaceful environment. She enjoyed living alone, and it appears that when people die from natural causes, they hang on to take control over the time and place where they decide to take the next step.
Cheers to your long life, Gram. I hope your journey was a peaceful one.
It's not a surprise to anyone that she waited for the family to leave before she died. She moved to her summer place in the woods years ago, away from a lifetime of friends and relatives, to live out the rest of her life in a peaceful environment. She enjoyed living alone, and it appears that when people die from natural causes, they hang on to take control over the time and place where they decide to take the next step.
Cheers to your long life, Gram. I hope your journey was a peaceful one.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Interference
I'm feeling a bit depressed, so don't read this if you don't want to learn more about it. Hey, it's my blog and if I want to be depressed, I have that right. So there. :-)
Too much interference in my head today. Probably because I'm coming out of a weekend that wasn't as productive as I had hoped. And now it's almost 4PM on Monday, and still I feel like I should be eating breakfast instead of having an afternoon cup o' java at Cafe right now.
I need to ignore the interference. I think my scholarly thoughts (if I do say so myself) get clouded by trying to set life priorities. I mean, I'm doing this degree to get myself and my career to a "higher level." Higher level of crap, perhaps? Who knows. But right now I'm just hoping I'll have a full-time job next year to be able to support the family and myself. Life will just go on: I'm not feeling like I'm waiting for a job to "get my life back," or anything like that. At the same time, am I a failure for wanting a full-time job? Did I fail this year because I've not yet finished up this proposal and can't seem to get over the hump posed by this pilot study?
I would like to have complete control over how I spend my time for one entire day this week. So far that ain't happening. At least spring break is next week; I think I'm going to take a day or two off...so I can work.
I hate college.
Too much interference in my head today. Probably because I'm coming out of a weekend that wasn't as productive as I had hoped. And now it's almost 4PM on Monday, and still I feel like I should be eating breakfast instead of having an afternoon cup o' java at Cafe right now.
I need to ignore the interference. I think my scholarly thoughts (if I do say so myself) get clouded by trying to set life priorities. I mean, I'm doing this degree to get myself and my career to a "higher level." Higher level of crap, perhaps? Who knows. But right now I'm just hoping I'll have a full-time job next year to be able to support the family and myself. Life will just go on: I'm not feeling like I'm waiting for a job to "get my life back," or anything like that. At the same time, am I a failure for wanting a full-time job? Did I fail this year because I've not yet finished up this proposal and can't seem to get over the hump posed by this pilot study?
I would like to have complete control over how I spend my time for one entire day this week. So far that ain't happening. At least spring break is next week; I think I'm going to take a day or two off...so I can work.
I hate college.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Progress & Plans
This was a pretty good week. I made good progress on the @#$% pilot study, and I've even crafted a visual model of my theory. We'll see how DC likes it.
Today I'm planning an office/prison work attempt. I'm actually kind of excited. Perhaps the prospect of yard work, spring-cleaning, and house-sprucing have inspired me to feel like a homebody today. Not sure. Regardless, it's been a while since I've had a good work session here at home, so I'm going to attempt it.
Got some feedback from a local journal to which I've submitted a different paper, and I need to complete revisions by Friday. So that's on my list for this weekend. Also, DC is traveling in a week, and she always likes to have reading material with her when she flies. I MUST finish up the @#$% pilot study by Friday as well so I can get feedback from her prior to when I submit that to A Prestigious Journal. I figure I'll get rejected from that journal, but I hope the rejection comes with some helpful feedback. So, busy weekend: wish me luck here in the office/prison today.
writing
planning
Today I'm planning an office/prison work attempt. I'm actually kind of excited. Perhaps the prospect of yard work, spring-cleaning, and house-sprucing have inspired me to feel like a homebody today. Not sure. Regardless, it's been a while since I've had a good work session here at home, so I'm going to attempt it.
Got some feedback from a local journal to which I've submitted a different paper, and I need to complete revisions by Friday. So that's on my list for this weekend. Also, DC is traveling in a week, and she always likes to have reading material with her when she flies. I MUST finish up the @#$% pilot study by Friday as well so I can get feedback from her prior to when I submit that to A Prestigious Journal. I figure I'll get rejected from that journal, but I hope the rejection comes with some helpful feedback. So, busy weekend: wish me luck here in the office/prison today.
writing
planning
Spring is Springing!
I can't believe the daffodils, tulips, & crocuses are already coming up in our rather messy front yard. Note the "gumballs" that fell out of our next door neighbor's tree in the wintertime. Thanks alot, neighbor! Anyhow, I must get started on the yard work routine again sometime soon. In celebration of the first weekend in March, I brought our lawn mower into the shop for its annual tuneup. I'm looking forward to spring! This year I'm determined to just do a little bit of work every couple of days instead of letting it pile up (literally) till the weekends. Half of the weekends it rains, so things can really pile up. If I can get into a schedule, then the yard will stay clean and I'll be less stressed about it. I love yard work, but it stresses me out if I don't feel like I have the time to do it. It's the grad student guilt factor, I suppose.Homeowner
Saturday, February 25, 2006
One-man Band
I've been listening a lot to one of my Diana Krall CDs lately, and her music has really helped me focus. I've CRANKED these past couple of days, actually. And uh yeah, I've sorta kept the CD on "repeat" as a result.
I'm starting to equate my writing process to that of being a one-man band. The band practices until all the instruments are tightly-knit, the venue is such that the music sounds good, and the resources are all in line in order for the performance to happen. Writing, then, becomes a performance of sorts. This is not to say that each writing session must be a perfect, critically-acclaimed performance. However, I'm calling it "a performance" in that the outgrowth of a good rehearsal involves all of the pieces functioning together well enough to "perform." The performance itself doesn't need to be stellar every time, but in order for the show to go on the pieces at least need to be able to work together.
A jazz group would have a difficult time performing without its drummer, or its bassist, or its vocalist, and so forth. All of the components must at least "be there" in order for the performance to happen. Again, the performance may not be stellar, but the show must go on.
This is to suggest that if (er...OK, when) I'm having a bad writing day, it's not that I'm inherently a bad writer or a poor scholar. It's just that the vocalist in my band has a cold, or the drummer has an ear infection, or the bassist is just having a bad day and should really be playing the blues. One or more components is probably missing that day, so that day's performance may not win any awards. But I need to keep in mind that the show must go on. I need to at least complete the show and 'get it out there,' so I can then take the feedback from the local newspaper critic, learn from it, and work toward a better performance in the future. Without performance, others don't know you're doing much of anything. You can practice all you want in your own living room, but what's the point of making music unless you share it and let others hear it?
OK, it's time to kick my drummer's ass and get some more writing done today. Am determined to finish up this @#$% lingering pilot study before I see DC on Tuesday.
writing
I'm starting to equate my writing process to that of being a one-man band. The band practices until all the instruments are tightly-knit, the venue is such that the music sounds good, and the resources are all in line in order for the performance to happen. Writing, then, becomes a performance of sorts. This is not to say that each writing session must be a perfect, critically-acclaimed performance. However, I'm calling it "a performance" in that the outgrowth of a good rehearsal involves all of the pieces functioning together well enough to "perform." The performance itself doesn't need to be stellar every time, but in order for the show to go on the pieces at least need to be able to work together.
A jazz group would have a difficult time performing without its drummer, or its bassist, or its vocalist, and so forth. All of the components must at least "be there" in order for the performance to happen. Again, the performance may not be stellar, but the show must go on.
This is to suggest that if (er...OK, when) I'm having a bad writing day, it's not that I'm inherently a bad writer or a poor scholar. It's just that the vocalist in my band has a cold, or the drummer has an ear infection, or the bassist is just having a bad day and should really be playing the blues. One or more components is probably missing that day, so that day's performance may not win any awards. But I need to keep in mind that the show must go on. I need to at least complete the show and 'get it out there,' so I can then take the feedback from the local newspaper critic, learn from it, and work toward a better performance in the future. Without performance, others don't know you're doing much of anything. You can practice all you want in your own living room, but what's the point of making music unless you share it and let others hear it?
OK, it's time to kick my drummer's ass and get some more writing done today. Am determined to finish up this @#$% lingering pilot study before I see DC on Tuesday.
writing
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Autism Success Story
Check out this VERY cool Autism success story, linked over at Three Bed Two Bath.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Cheeseburger, Fries & a Couple of Beers
Fuck the diet, I needed a break this evening.
I spent a good chunk of the day on a regression assignment for my multivariate stats class. I think I ran the data just fine, and I have till Thursday to write up the results. Took a while, though. While I can follow every word the professor says in class, and I understand the concepts, the act of actually applying the knowledge to something "real" and trying to remember all the details made my ass tired. Guess I'm more qualitative at heart. Nevertheless, I managed to figure it out. However, the part of the regression model I was most excited about ended up having absolutely no impact on the dependent variable at all. AUGH! If I weren't already bald, I would have pulled out my hair! That's life in quantitative research, I guess. Now I need to spend the next couple of days writing about how the data disproved my own theory. Nice. :|
Just before 6PM, I went downstairs and said, "OK, we need to go out and do something fun. I am not letting a bunch of numbers get me depressed on a Saturday evening!" So Wife, Moose and I went to a local establishment known for its burgers and cheap beers, located right on the county courthouse square. Even though it's so blasted cold (8 degrees right now), we enjoyed the time out. Had a chance to walk around the square a bit and even hit a local bookstore. I think Moose had fun as well; he actually kept his hood and mittens on for a change.
I enjoy cranking out a bunch of work on a Saturday afternoon if I can later celebrate with a meal and a couple of beers out in town somewhere. I think that's what got me through the last two college degrees, and it seems to be working for this third one too.
Weightwatchers? Huh?
I spent a good chunk of the day on a regression assignment for my multivariate stats class. I think I ran the data just fine, and I have till Thursday to write up the results. Took a while, though. While I can follow every word the professor says in class, and I understand the concepts, the act of actually applying the knowledge to something "real" and trying to remember all the details made my ass tired. Guess I'm more qualitative at heart. Nevertheless, I managed to figure it out. However, the part of the regression model I was most excited about ended up having absolutely no impact on the dependent variable at all. AUGH! If I weren't already bald, I would have pulled out my hair! That's life in quantitative research, I guess. Now I need to spend the next couple of days writing about how the data disproved my own theory. Nice. :|
Just before 6PM, I went downstairs and said, "OK, we need to go out and do something fun. I am not letting a bunch of numbers get me depressed on a Saturday evening!" So Wife, Moose and I went to a local establishment known for its burgers and cheap beers, located right on the county courthouse square. Even though it's so blasted cold (8 degrees right now), we enjoyed the time out. Had a chance to walk around the square a bit and even hit a local bookstore. I think Moose had fun as well; he actually kept his hood and mittens on for a change.
I enjoy cranking out a bunch of work on a Saturday afternoon if I can later celebrate with a meal and a couple of beers out in town somewhere. I think that's what got me through the last two college degrees, and it seems to be working for this third one too.
Weightwatchers? Huh?
Thursday, February 16, 2006
A Bout with Academic Paralysis
If I were afraid of nothing, imagine how much more productive I would be. For me, fear is almost a paralyzing force, and it's one that I deal with in particular around academics. I think it's been that way ever since I was in high school. Sometimes I'm fearful even when I need to write about things I'm "good" at doing. I don't get it. Is it a fear of making an error? I doubt it - even as a pianist I was never too worried about being technically "perfect" all the time.
Fortunately, Academic Paralysis (AP) (hey, I just made up that construct!) has always been a temporary thing for me. One of the reasons I started this blog was to attempt to overcome this fear. I think it's worked to a point. When I finally start writing a paper (and I usually start later than I "should"), nine times out of ten it goes rather swiftly and ends with a decent-to-good result. An older and wiser colleague has said to me: Shooting for the stars is admirable, but you don't always need to hit the target to still be "good." It's excellent advice, and I should listen to her more.
I guess I fear the start of the dissertation proposal. I fear being alone without guidance, and I fear I'll drift too far down the wrong path and will never be able to swim back upstream. I realize these are probably not irrational fears: I imagine many other doc students go through a similar experience. It's just that this has been the longest case of AP that I've experienced do date.
I bet that many of these feelings of AP stem from the fact that my most trusted writing advisor and editor -- my father -- died unexpectedly about two years ago, during my second year in this doctoral program. The way he went was generous to him and horribly unfair to the rest of us still left. Basically, his heart just stopped one afternoon. On the one hand: write me that ticket! No major long-term illness traveling down a narrow road of disease or discomfort. On the other hand: his death left lots of un-finished business which he wouldn't care for very much. During the first year-and-a-half in this program I pictured the dissertation-writing process looking somewhat like: 1) write a draft of a dissertation chapter, 2) pass it onto Dad, 3) wait for him to rip me a new one with his feedback (as usual), and 4) off I'd go to write another draft with the end product being of thorough detail and succinct grammar. I'm feeling a little lost without that built-in structure in place. Dad operated with a nice blend of logic, organization, and philosophy in his work (I'll never know why he worked in sales and not academia), and I do miss his presence in my life.
I guess I need to keep the present day in mind. First, "life happens" and there isn't much I can do to control these events. The show must go on. Next, DC is turning out to be a fantastic sounding board for research ideas, and I know I'm very fortunate for that good relationship. Wife is always supportive and wonderful, and she's also a good editor too. Pink and a couple of other colleagues are trustworthy types who aren't afraid to argue with me about concepts and ideas. Argumentation was the way I would negotiate discussions with Dad, so finding this spirit in a couple of colleagues is good for me (and is probably not nearly as annoying as it was at times with Dad!). Hopefully things will start clicking again very soon.
Fortunately, Academic Paralysis (AP) (hey, I just made up that construct!) has always been a temporary thing for me. One of the reasons I started this blog was to attempt to overcome this fear. I think it's worked to a point. When I finally start writing a paper (and I usually start later than I "should"), nine times out of ten it goes rather swiftly and ends with a decent-to-good result. An older and wiser colleague has said to me: Shooting for the stars is admirable, but you don't always need to hit the target to still be "good." It's excellent advice, and I should listen to her more.
I guess I fear the start of the dissertation proposal. I fear being alone without guidance, and I fear I'll drift too far down the wrong path and will never be able to swim back upstream. I realize these are probably not irrational fears: I imagine many other doc students go through a similar experience. It's just that this has been the longest case of AP that I've experienced do date.
I bet that many of these feelings of AP stem from the fact that my most trusted writing advisor and editor -- my father -- died unexpectedly about two years ago, during my second year in this doctoral program. The way he went was generous to him and horribly unfair to the rest of us still left. Basically, his heart just stopped one afternoon. On the one hand: write me that ticket! No major long-term illness traveling down a narrow road of disease or discomfort. On the other hand: his death left lots of un-finished business which he wouldn't care for very much. During the first year-and-a-half in this program I pictured the dissertation-writing process looking somewhat like: 1) write a draft of a dissertation chapter, 2) pass it onto Dad, 3) wait for him to rip me a new one with his feedback (as usual), and 4) off I'd go to write another draft with the end product being of thorough detail and succinct grammar. I'm feeling a little lost without that built-in structure in place. Dad operated with a nice blend of logic, organization, and philosophy in his work (I'll never know why he worked in sales and not academia), and I do miss his presence in my life.
I guess I need to keep the present day in mind. First, "life happens" and there isn't much I can do to control these events. The show must go on. Next, DC is turning out to be a fantastic sounding board for research ideas, and I know I'm very fortunate for that good relationship. Wife is always supportive and wonderful, and she's also a good editor too. Pink and a couple of other colleagues are trustworthy types who aren't afraid to argue with me about concepts and ideas. Argumentation was the way I would negotiate discussions with Dad, so finding this spirit in a couple of colleagues is good for me (and is probably not nearly as annoying as it was at times with Dad!). Hopefully things will start clicking again very soon.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Bloggiversary
Today is Chesterley's first birthday. Just one year ago I was in the depths of studying for qualifying exams. Seems like a very long time ago! Thanks to those of you who have been checking in either regularly or even just once in a while.
I'm a bit amazed that I've managed to keep up this informal writing habit on a regular basis throughout the year. I do think it's helped my writing process in general. Also, it's been a fantastic outlet for a wide variety of thoughts on the dissertation, the career, raising a child with special needs, being a husband, and many others. Being accountable to others with this public-and-yet-all-about-me sort of writing helps me organize my thoughts and even gain perspective when I'm going into a downward mental tailspin. So, thanks to anyone reading for being around and helping me stay focused.
I'm off to be a researcher for a few hours now before an actual date with my wife this evening. I can get used to this.
Cheers to another good year!
I'm a bit amazed that I've managed to keep up this informal writing habit on a regular basis throughout the year. I do think it's helped my writing process in general. Also, it's been a fantastic outlet for a wide variety of thoughts on the dissertation, the career, raising a child with special needs, being a husband, and many others. Being accountable to others with this public-and-yet-all-about-me sort of writing helps me organize my thoughts and even gain perspective when I'm going into a downward mental tailspin. So, thanks to anyone reading for being around and helping me stay focused.
I'm off to be a researcher for a few hours now before an actual date with my wife this evening. I can get used to this.
Cheers to another good year!
Friday, February 10, 2006
Kermit THEE Frog here!
Wow, I thought I was gonna be Rolf! My comments appear [in bold brackets].
| You Are Kermit |
 Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly [aw shucks], you get along well with everyone you know. [well, not quite everyone] You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems. [yep] Don't worry - everyone knows it's not easy being green. [well, not quite everyone] Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies! [yum!] |
Agenda: Research!
It's been a relatively productive week, though still not much progress on the dissertation. I've submitted a paper for publication (COMPLETELY different paper than the one I've discussed here before), ran a staff meeting in the place of my boss, helped meet a major deadline at my office, edited a paper for a colleague, interviewed two clients at our office on a new project we're starting, and I even submitted our tax documentation to our accountant (I've never done this so early!). Also, I'm breaking ground in some important areas for me, like learning more about research methodologies. On my to-do list for the weekend are:
- act as a peer debriefer for a colleague as he decodes his dissertation data (qualitative)
- "play" with a data set I've obtained for my multivariate statistics course (quantitative)
- write a short paper for my stats class
- plan a master's-level class I'm teaching next Tuesday evening
- have dinner and a movie with Wife tomorrow night (wait, a DATE? What??)
It's interesting that I'm working on both qualitative and quantitative projects this weekend. I'm glad to be developing familiarity with both, though I think I'll always feel more at home in the qualitative world. It was cool, though: a colleague of mine cut this data set (no. 2, above) from a larger survey administered through our office. I was able to watch, and UNDERSTAND, how she pulled the data and even help make decisions on how to define things. It's just for a class assignment on multiple regression analysis, but this colleague and I hope this analysis could be the start of a larger project we'll work on together in our office this spring and summer. Much fun! And very geeky, which I sorta like. :-)
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Sleepie
Greetings fellow bloggers and friends. I'm still here. It's been a long while since I posted last. We went to Chicago to see an opera last weekend and had a great time. Then, I've been swamped under a rock with work stuff. Things are going well, though, and I'm not feeling much stress. It's good to be busy again. I think my theory of having a few more things on my plate to kick my ass is actually working well, because I'm being productive. Somewhat. OK, not on my dissertation, but on the class I'm taking, the class I'm teaching, and the article I'm finishing up, all's going relatively well. I'm not sleeping much, though.
Starting this weekend I'm officially setting aside my Saturday for getting studying done. Of course I lost an entire weekend and a couple of days here & there with the trip to Chicago and a very busy time at work. Still, it's good to know I have that extra time carved out and scheduled in the calendar for working. Let's hope I can pull it all together sometime soon.
Starting this weekend I'm officially setting aside my Saturday for getting studying done. Of course I lost an entire weekend and a couple of days here & there with the trip to Chicago and a very busy time at work. Still, it's good to know I have that extra time carved out and scheduled in the calendar for working. Let's hope I can pull it all together sometime soon.
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