Document Analysis

Four of my closest relatives and I had a difficult, yet important, experience together last weekend. We cleaned out the family home of our GoGA (Grandmother of Great Age), who you may recall died last March at age 98. Just a year ago Wife, Moose, and I visited her home for a week-long visit and had a good time. Dealing with her end has been a long and drawn-out process, mostly due to the physical distance among my cousins and between our homes and hers.

You may have heard the cliché, “she kept everything.” Well, this is no cliché with our grandmother: she truly kept everything. Not only did we four grandchildren uncover just about every letter we had ever written to her during our lives, but we found everything from our great-grandmother’s Shabbat notebook from 1897 to auto registrations from the 1940s and plans for parties my grandparents held in the 1960s. I learned many things through this experience. For example, the format of tax returns have not changed very much since 1937. And, did you know that if you wanted timely delivery on a letter, one needed to indicate “via air mail” on an envelope traveling from New York to Chicago as recent as the late 1960s?

Document analysis is a qualitative data-collection technique that researchers use when wanting to learn more about a certain entity. I’ve used this data collection form in the past when assessing the effectiveness of a program or when learning more about the history of a college. I realized early on that we were performing a large document analysis on the long life of my grandmother. This was a gift, in some ways, though I admit I wasn’t really very pleased with my grandmother for essentially forcing us to take a week off and go through her files, some of which were ridden with long-gone mouse nests and years of mold (Cape Cod is rather humid, so mold accumulation is a regular experience) (ew). The gift part of this experience comes into play when considering that we essentially were able to relive parts of her life through the last century, and there were many of these moments we did not realize existed.

I cannot and will not outline all of her life experiences here in this blog. Suffice it to say, however, that any major life event I was aware of in her life were documented somewhere in her house. For example, whenever she started a story about a place where she lived, she would give us the street address; we found unused personalized stationery from every residence where she had ever lived. She would describe the cars she drove across the country to go to her summer home; we found the bill of sale for when she purchased these cars. Through these documents we saw her life at its height when she was an activist for human rights in Chicago (the mayor would ask her to lunch on a regular basis to discuss these issues). We watched her life age when her handwriting became illegible and her filing system moved from organized files toward a series of piled papers along her desk and bedroom floor.

Soon after her death, I wrote that I thought it was odd I was missing, of all things, her house. Now I think I understand this a bit better. Her house was a symbol of family gatherings, both good and difficult. We’ll never be able to replace this symbol once we sell the place. Five generations of my family have enjoyed this house, all people related to GoGA in some way. Her mother would join her during summers in the late ‘50s and early ‘60s. My grandparents of course spent countless months enjoying the home and the beaches across the road. My parents, and aunt & uncle, would visit with my cousins and/or me and my sister in tow. Other extended family members would see us all gathered there both in the summer and winter months for informal family reunions. And more recently I, my sister, and one of my cousins would bring our own children to visit their great-grandmother. Selling a home that’s been in the family for about 50 years is a grueling process. Going through the files and other personal items is strange and tiring. But the emotional aspect of losing family history in a physical place is unfathomable for me at times. It’s amazing to think my grandmother lived in this house for only half of her life…50 years seems like a long time to live in one place. Perhaps I will get used to the fact that another family will stake claim to the sand dune we referred to as “Gram’s house” for so many years.

I have mixed feelings, though about the sale of her house. I admit there’s a large part of me that’s glad to see the place go, as I had some very difficult times there that I’d rather not remember. But another part of me will always wonder how many more years I and my relatives would have carried on the tradition of these family gatherings. Sort of seems like a waste to sell the place after all these years.

Someday I may take some of the documents I saved and write a book about my grandmother’s life. It may make for an interesting story.

Earlee

Well, here's day 1 of trying the new schedule. I was up at 5:30, out the door just before 7, and here I am at my desk on campus, ready to work after a stop at the post office and preliminary work e-mail check. Wait. What am I doing again? Oh yeah, this dissertation proposal...that's it!

Long hiatus in posting here, I know, mostly because I've been traveling just about every weekend this summer. Finally, I think I'm all done with that. When I have more time I'm going to post more about an interesting family experience from last weekend.

Time to crack the books. But I need some coffee first. zzzzzzzzz

Fireworks are Everywhere

Ever since my state passed a new law which actually PERMITS morons to blast off fireworks till 11:00 PM each night, including the ones that go off the ground, into the air, and onto my trees and roof, people in my neighborhood are louder than ever. Normally, it's a quiet place that few SCTers have ever seen (it's built behind several old farms that are no longer functioning as such, but one cannot see this from the main road...just looks like a series of old farms with a couple of little roads in between). But around this time of year, the fireworks "season" begins. Not just around Independence Day, but the sounds keep going till September. I don't think I'm exaggerating very much.

Tonight I think I'm hearing popping sounds on three sides of my house. Last year I actually called the police on one neighbor who was allowing his 10-year-old to set off huge-ass fireworks that went up above their two-story house and onto my tree line, which was completely dried out by a lack of rain. It was 10:30 PM, and I was told by the police that any fireworks up in the air like that were illegal. Made sense to me: pretty dangerous. And especially for a 10-year-old...HELLO?? And it's 10:30PM. Send your kid to bed!

So this year, that would be legal? If you smell smoke and see flames, send the firetrucks to my house.

Now don't get me wrong: I like to have a good time just like anyone else. But we live about two blocks from an absolutely enormous open field surrounding a school (another former farm). Why the hell not go out there and do this instead of our thickly-settled neighborhood?

Wow, I just realized I posted on this very topic about a year ago. I guess some things never change. At least I've had no altercations with my neighbor since I called the sherrif last year (knock on wood!).

ADDENDUM (7/4/2006):
And with what does Wife surprise me this evening? Our own stash of fireworks!!! They're the kind that just make a lot of smoke and spin around on the ground. Oh, the humanity!

But boy oh boy was that fun! Yeah, just feeling a little hypocritical right about now...

Conditioning

I've had yet another busy weekend: the 3rd of 4. Wife's family has been in town, and we've been "camping" at a nearby state park. I used quotes around "camping" because we (Wife, Moose, Wife's Parents, and I) actually rented a cabin on the grounds of said state park, while Wife's sister and partner were in their trailer at the campground itself. It was fun, though I was running back & forth between the state park and town late last week since I still needed to work. No complaints: I'll take a "real" job over a vacation at this point in my life. As a result of the running around and fresh air, my ass is tired. Last night I went to bed at 9:30, sound asleep. Woke up at 6:30 AM today. NINE hours of sleep? Hardly ever happens.

However, the early bedtime is good conditioning for the schedule I'm going to try & start keeping starting tomorrow. It involves getting up before the crack of dawn (good idea from my colleague John) to attempt to get my dissertation work done. I'll work my "real job" hours from about 10 AM - 5PM or so (start at 11 AM if I have no lunch hour plans). So, if I can get to my campus office (did I mention I have my own office now?) by 7 or 8 at the latest, then I'll have a few hours each morning to get something done during my peak brain power time. Guess I'm a morning person at heart. I hope to use Saturday mornings in the same way, so I still have plenty of family time Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday. We'll see how this goes, but I fiugre a few hours each day is better than no hours.

I enjoy getting lots done in the morning. Today I've already exercised (I know, Rob EXERCISED?), shaved/bathed, paid a couple of bills, had breakfast with Wife, Moose, and Wife's Parents, and now I'm actually finding time to write this blog. Still about an hour before we leave for church...mabe I'll tidy up Home Office for while? This afternoon I'm going to Campus Office to put up pictures and such. I have a window at said office, so I'm looking forward to getting that set up. Perhaps I'll eventually move the home office/prison to campus?

No posts in a long while

Where has the end of June gone? I don't know. lemme think...

First, I'm transitioning into this new job that is supposed to start on July 1, but since four new staff members also start around that time, I have plenty of work to do in both the old and the new posts right now, and I've been this way for a couple of weeks.

Second, I went to this conference in Phoenix. Very cool - have never been to the Southwest before, so it was a bit like going to Mars, in terms of the terrain. Interesting spot, though.

And finally, family stuff. We've been very busy finding Moose good things to do this summer and help him grow. We have him in summer day camp here & there, and he's working extensively with two people (separately) both of whom are getting trained to engage autistic kids in purposive activities. Brilliant! We even have him in these 15-minute long piano lessons. Hell, I don't know if they're doing any good at all, but one of his preschool teachers does music on the side and offered to teach him for free. Why not?

My in-laws come in for a week this Wednesday, and then I turn around and head off to Cape Cod to clean out my grandmother's home along with my sister and cousins. Cousin Dave, all I can say is I'm glad the hotel rooms have fridges, the perfect size for a couple of six-packs...

Busy summer. Dissertation? Oh yeah, THAT. Well, I have been reading a great deal, but actually writing some of this shit down might convince DC that I'm planning on writing this book sometime in the next year. Yeah, better get on that sometime soon.

In addition to not posting here much, I also haven't been reading anyone else's blogs lately. Gotta get back to that too...

Guess what WE did today?

Yep, we rode Thomas the Tank Engine. A good time was had by all. Check out the pictures!

More alone when reading than writing

I've always enjoyed a good read, ever since I was a little kid. But when the reading involves topics that I'm learning about or things for which I need to demonstrate my understanding, I find the process of reading to be extremely lonely. I don't care for that very much. Learning is a social process at times, but I do need to spend the time alone, I suppose.

It's funny though: when writing I feel more "in charge," so to speak, and I don't mind spending the time alone because I'm more productive. I've been reading much of the morning today, and right now I have a bunch of ideas flying through my head that I'd like to bounce off of someone. However it's a day where "no one" is around (kind of funny saying "no one" or even the word "lonely" being that I'm sitting at a booth in the middle of the cafe). I suppose it's part of being in the wilderness when doing the initial review of the literature. Perhaps when I gain a better understanding of how I'll discuss the literature I'm reading, then I'll be better able to enjoy the company of someone else? I dunno. I would love to get through this part and finally get into conducting the study. Oh yeah: I don't quite know how I'm going to construct the actual study just yet...guess I need to spend some more time alone and figure out these "minor" details!

Ho hum. At least they have one of my favorite coffees available today. Gotta go get some more.

Saturday thoughts on the deck

It's Saturday late morning on the deck at Chesterley. And it's 65 degrees in early June? How'd that happen? Very odd. A buddy of mine is getting married today here in town...hope the rain holds off, pal!

I'm nearing the end of reading much of the large literature review I mentioned in my last post. This is good: when I started I was at a loss for how I was actually going to organize my thoughts on the literature, and now things are starting to gel. Slowly.

It's funny: I keep forgetting that I wrote a draft of a dissertation proposal just over a year ago for a proposal-writing course that I was required to take. I honestly haven't read it in months. WHY?? Guess I need to print off a copy sometime soon and take a look. There probably isn't much in there of substance for the lit review portion I'm working on now, but I really should see if my thoughts from a year ago are similar or different to where things are now. I never thought the process would take this long, but I guess when one allows life to happen, the consequence is a longer time to dissertation completion.

I'm getting excited to start my new job, even though the thought of having less dissertation time is a bit stressful. Somehow I think it will all even out, and the office itself is very supportive of seeing me through to the completion of the book. I keep reminding myself how fortunate I am to have a part-time job that pays enough to live on and allows me a little flex time hither & yon.

OK, off to (hopefully) finish another chapter in this book before my friend's wedding festivities start this afternoon.

A System and a Job

I haven't posted in a while. Busy time around here lately, but good-busy as opposed to sucky-busy. I like good-busy. Sucky-busy...bad.

First, I think I've finally developed a decent system for reading and processing articles for The Dreaded Chapter 2. "Processing" is a means for remembering all the stuff I've read! Basically now I'm reading a large literature review that's famous and wonderful in higher education circles. From this I'm slowly gaining another list of articles/books I should be reading. Fortunately, many of the things on the list are that which I have already read for coursework, which means the entire act of coursework itself was meaningful. This is good. So I read, I compile a literature list in a database which holds notes, quotes, etc., and I produce another list of things I need to retrieve either from the library, a friend's bookshelf, or the bookstore, which, when read, will be included in said database. A system. And I like systems.

Second, I haven't mentioned here that I'm starting a different job on July 1. It's a promotion of sorts, though fortunately it's not a full-time job so I can continue to work on the dissertation. It's in the department where I've attempted to be a Good Little Graduate Assistant, and apparently the work has paid off. I'll have some supervision responsibilities and will be paid just enough to no longer need student loans. Yippee! It's 30 hours per week instead of 20, so I'm pushing this month to get much of The Dreaded Chapter 2 finished before my hours increase July 1. Then, I'll "only" have Chapter 3 hanging over my head, which should be do-able during some evenings and weekends, and on the one day off from work during the week which will be devoted only to writing (at least that's my plan). Most important: the job is in the field where I eventually want to work "when I grow up," so it's relevant career-related experience in addition to being a viable income source. Whew.

The transition into the new job is going well so far, though it's causing me to be scheduled into numerous meetings: a huge change from the last couple of years. I'm working hard to only work my 20 hours per week this month, because the paper MUST get done. Still, it's good to feel like I'm "working" again, and I hope that feeling continues after July 1. I don't think I'd feel good about the job transition if I didn't also feel good about the dissertation reading process. I'm glad a few things are falling together nicely right now.

Baby Bunnies!

Baby Bunnies!
Originally uploaded by chesterley.

Imagine my surprise when yesterday morning I was watering our front garden only to find four baby bunnies running away from the cold water! I had seen Momma Bunny in the garden a week or two ago, but I figured she was looking for food: I did not suspect she had built a home there! Very cute to see the bunnies running around. For a while I was concerned I had desecrated their home by mistake, but later on we saw them running around again.

Wait a minute: We just finished planting the vegetable garden yesterday. Ugh! Lucky bunnies! How ironic.

Weekend Warriors

Just one more post on the house for the weekend, before this turns into a house blog instead of a doctoral student blog.

As a younger adult, whenever I would hear of people doing all they could with their home improvement projects, I used to cringe. I would ask myself, "Why can't people balance their lives better so they don't save all of these projects for a weekend and then have to rush around doing all this work?"

And now here we are, the little weekend warriors. Heaps of self-disgust! Well no, not really. It's hard to believe I've fallen into that routine, though. Seems so "typical." Anyhow...

This patch of ground, above, was at one point part of a dog run area for the prior owner of Chesterley. There is a whole bunch of river rock here, but over the years weeds have grown in as the rock settled into the dirt. The several inches of rock makes it nearly impossible to dig in and plant anything. However, it happens to be the one private, flat portion of our yard that has sun most of the day long. Thus, the one perfect spot for a vegetable garden in our yard has been blocked by the rock.

We found a way to conquer the rock by building a raised bed. Wife has ALWAYS wanted her own vegetable garden, and now after almost four years of home ownership her dream is coming true! See the four "DIY" pictures in my Flickr site, if you're interested in seeing more. I'll more pictures add to it as we get the veggies planted during the next few days.

Oh yeah, did I mention I'm writing my dissertation, too?

Summery Yard

We've done a ton of work on the yard this summer, and I've posted several pictures under the "yard" tag in Flickr. I really think the key to a healthy marriage is to do yard work together. We love it. It's a nice balance of independent and group work, and it's fun to see the results of your work. After buying this house (our first), we quickly learned the yard work we do this year will look better next year. Right now it feels like we're seeing the results of the last few year's worth of work coming to fruition, so that's pretty darn exciting.

Wife planted Cosmos out front this year. Before this spring I had not met a Cosmos. I like them so much, I used this pic of them for this post. By the way, those frogs took up residence in our front garden in 2002, soon after we moved into Chesterley.

The Demise of Cargo

I am not one to read many magazines. Heck I have enough trouble reading the literature I need to for my dissertation, but that's an entirely different story.

My aunt and uncle gave me a subscription to GQ when I graduated from college. I liked it, but I have never made oodles of money such that I could ever think of affording the clothes and such advertised there. Also, I just don't spend a lot of time on clothing or grooming. I mean, I certainly like to bathe and shave and look decent, but if I'm not wearing designer clothing, I really could care less. As long as it fits and the things were purchased this decade, I'll go with it. Many of the articles in GQ are interesting, so I kept my subscription going for several years. When I came to SCT, I scaled back on several expenditures, one of which was that subscription.

Of course I'm still on their mailing list, and I receive ads for other magazines published by the same group. A new one came out about a year ago that was inexpensive and peaked my interest: Cargo Magazine. Good mixture of "men's magazine stuff" like electronic gadgets, clothing (with inexpensive options!), fitness, and sex. And some of the models look like real people instead of like "models," if you can believe it! And really: the emphasis was on the electronics and not the fashion, which I liked a great deal.

Unfortunately, I received a postcard last week saying they will discontinue publishing Cargo. And to compensate for the rest of my subscription, I'll get copies of GQ instead. Ugh! I guess I'll just take it in and have a clearer picture of the high-fashion stuff I cannot afford. Inspiration to complete the doctorate? Perhaps, but it's not like I'm going to walk into a six-figure job when I complete this degree anyhow. Ho hum.

Long live Cargo!

Chapter 1

I finished the draft of Chapter 1 early. As I stated Sunday, my goal was to have it done later this week. I actually finished it yesterday. I can't really believe it, so I didn't jump onto Blogland to post all about it for a while. But it's true: it went much more quickly than I thought.

Don't get me wrong: this isn't very good. DC will never see this version, and I still have a long way to go. But the important thing is that the initial concepts are out of my head. Now I can focus on refreshing my readings and getting chapter 2 planned. Chapter 2 will take a while. Hoo boy...here goes.

A poem

Mom said, "oh no," through a stifled laugh.
The son had found Dad's leftover birthday cake
That which he had not consumed was
ground into the white shirt he wore
to church that morning.

Son looked dazed,
though happy.

Dad said: "hey, save some for me."

And then Son bounced himself off the walls.

Time flies like a pad of butter on a hot frying pan

Has it been a week since my last post? Time flies, though I have no idea why the anology of butter & frying pans just came to mind, but it did so I wrote it.

Here I sit on the back deck of Chesterley, "vigorously" writing my dissertation. Ha, I wish. At least I'm here. Tomorrow is Writing Day, so I endeavor to get much more accomplished. I did write seven more pages last week, so it was a productive time. If all goes as planned this week, then I'll finish a shitty draft of the first chapter this Thursday or earlier, and I'll have a chance to revise the shittiness out of it next weekend before sharing it with Pink or another colleague after the Memorial Day holiday. I think DC is out of contact for a while, as is the norm during the summer. I can live with that. After the holiday, it's onward into the dreaded Chapter 2: the literature review. Oy.

I marked the 35th anniversary of my life this past week. It was the first birthday where I felt like I'm not "young" anymore. At least I have my health and most of my brain cells in tact, so this is good. My mom was here much of the week, so between the family & friend support I made it through the b-day experience just fine. A decent supply of alcohol and chocolate helped as well.

There is a big-ass bee (BAB) flying around out here. Hey, can't you see the flower boxes over there? Get away from me. Geez, big enough it's creating a shadow when it flies. Stop blocking out the sun you blasted bee...

Digression over, kind of like this post.

Weekend Getaway

The weekend getaway with just the two of us was quite nice. Had time just to "be" and only worry about ourselves. Took in a museum, ate a couple of great meals, and had a good ole time. I highly recommend this type of getaway to anyone with kids. Even if you only travel ten miles from home - a 24-hour trip away from your kid(s) once in a while is well worth-it! We've only done this one other time since Moose was born.

We watched the very last West Wing tonight. I recall when that show came on six years ago and we were living in the Southeast. We watched it religiously, as did many of our friends. Our lives were SO very different then. We both were working full-time, Moose hadn't remotely been conceived yet, and Chester was just a year old. We were both getting settled in our careers, and we had a good life. I miss that sometimes, not that I would turn back time or anything, but boy was it fun. I don't know why watching the TV show reminded me of that time. I guess it's the memory of our lives when that show was starting, combined with the weekend getaway. It's good to remember what it's like to be a couple and not have the constant worry of having a child with special needs.

Perhaps there's a constant feeling of worry when you have typically-developing kids? I don't know. What I do know is that we're exhausted quite often, and sometimes it's hard to watch Moose attempt to navigate the world. Most times, however, we continue to be amazed at all he CAN do in spite of his inability to communicate coherently. Through it all, he still remains a genuinely NICE, humorous kid. Sometimes I wish I had his patience when I was that young.

Random post, I know, but my mind is just flowing tonight, for some reason. Preparing to turn 35 this week, perhaps? Probably.

Azaleas, etc.

I took this picture about 10 days ago. Couldn't believe the flowers that came up this spring. You'd never realize it's mid-May, though. As I type this, it's 49 degrees at 11:00 PM. Ugh. I am so ready for outdoor life to be the norm instead of a pleasant unexpected treat. I may put a few more of these pics on my Flickr site. There was nothing in this front garden except for an old wooden park bench that was literally rotting away, so we're pleased with what we've been able to add here.

In other house news, we finally had the kitchen ceiling repaired after a roof leak came, went, and got fixed. Ah. It's nice to not look at a peeling ceiling anymore. 

Page One

It's been a good couple of days. Monday I completed the outline of my first chapter, which was a triumphant feeling in itself.

On Tuesday, I wrote the first page of my dissertation! Woohoo!

And then this morning, I stared at Page 1. Ugh!

Well, I made a couple of edits hither & yon, and I found another source or two. Um...yeah. Oh well. I'm still on schedule for getting this chapter done this month, and that's all that matters right now. Right? Somebody agree, please! :-)

Today was our 9th wedding anniversary. My inlaws are in town now, so they watched Moose tonight while Wife and I went to Nice Italian Restaurant for dinner and then walked around Large Chain Bookstore/Cafe for about two hours, which is something we can NEVER do with Moose in tow. Had a very nice time. Even stopped at said cafe before coming home. This weekend we're going out of town, just the two of us, overnight while the inlaws spend an entire 24-hour period with Moose. Can't wait, though I'm not quite sure what we'll do while we're gone.

hee hee.

Commencement

Yesterday was graduation day in SCT. We had the fortunate situation to be invited to five different parties. I don't think that's ever happened to us before. We were able to get to four of them: three graduation gatherings and a Derby party. Much fun was had by all, and Moose did remarkably well though we were gone for about seven hours (poor Chester had to stay home, but he had a good run/romp across the vast rear lawn after our arrival home in the evening).

I also received the final grade from my "Multivariate Statistics in Educational Research" course. I'm not one to brag about or even discuss my grades very much, but I'm very pleased with the outcome. I'm also pleased with the fact that from here on out, my "grades" are just going to be "S" for Satisfactory. Better than the other option of F. Ironic how we get to the final stages of the doctorate and there are no more letter grades.

For over 7,000 graduates here at LMU, graduation marks the "commencement" of other things like moving to new life stages, starting new jobs, starting graduate school programs, etc. For me, this time of year marks the fact that "I'm next." I plan to be among next year's graduates. That's pretty cool, and it's high time. I may not be entirely finished with the dissertation this time next year, but the goal is to be close enough to participate in the graduation festivities and defend the paper in August of 2007.

Already I've changed my work schedule so I have Mondays off from Good Little Graduate Assistantship duties to focus on my own work. This is good: Sundays aren't nearly as stressful that way. In fact, life in general appears to have become more simple as a result of commencement. It's just me, my computer (may it work flawlessly at least for the next 18 months), and my books & articles to get this work done. Time to get to work.