Profect [pro-FEKT]

In the summer of 2002, Wife and I became homeowners for the first time. We heard from several friends and relatives about the gazilion papers that would need to be signed at closing, so it's not like we weren't expecting our hands to fall off from the numbers of times we signed our names.

I think I can speak accurately for the both of us when I say we like to question things we do not understand. We are both educators by career choice, so naturally we enjoy asking questions and learning. While learning usually comes easy to us, we learned this is not necessarily the case with things like mortgages and taxes and such. We endured learning the truth behind the "truth in lending" forms, which is neither truthful nor does it relate to lending. [DISCUSS!] And then the conversation turned to an even more weird subject:

"OK, this next form...this one profects the loan," Loan Officer said nervously, as if she dreaded yet another question from this inquisitive couple.

I said to Wife, "Oh, OK...this one is easy. It protects the loan."

"No," Loan Officer said. "It profects the loan," again with the nervous look as if to say, "I really need a cigarette...please do not ask another question."

Wife and I looked at each other, blinked twice, wondered what the hell the word profect actually means, and decided to just sign the damn form. And all was well. We got the house...

...and now, almost three years later, we use the word profect all the time. It's perfect for things like, "Sweetie, I just profected our taxes." Or, "I'm going to profect the lawn because it needs to be cut." Or even, "I need to profect this paper because it is due tomorrow." It's a random verb that is positive (perhaps one may find it a little obscene) (WHAT?), emotes progress, accomplishment, or presentation. I mean, it did something to our loan that enabled us to borrow the money, right?

Seriously, if anyone knows what in the world this term actually means, please feel free to comment here. I've not found anything like it in any dictionary, though admittedly I am not certain I'm spelling the word correctly.

OK, I'm off to grade papers that my students profected earlier this week.